Don't Forget to Replace the Batteries
by Rambling Thestral
Summary: The Fellowship gets dropped into a modern high school to discover that things have changed... Leggy's a prep? No suprises there. But Sam's a wrestler? Merry and Pippin in detention? And our favorite king-to-be attempting to teach Algebra? And ... girls?
1. Confused Prisoners of the Bathroom

Title: Don't Forget To Replace The Batteries  
  
Genre: Humor/Romance --- I'm not particularly good at Humor, so forgive me please if I inhale profusely. [not sure about the romance either...it'll be a while before it comes up though. I'm thinking some cute stuff, though;P]  
  
Rating: PG, for whatever reasons it may not be G. Nothing bad, I promise [or morally at least --- no guarantees it's not boring-proof].  
  
Disclaimer [applies to ALL the chapters so I don't have to do one each time:p]: I do not, nor will I ever, own the marvelous rights to Lord of the Rings. The plot, however, is mine, as far as I know:p.  
  
*Chapter 1: Confused Prisoners of the Bathroom*  
  
Saruman was in one of his rather...odd moods, to put it nicely. So he decided he would have some fun to spend the time. Whipping out the official "Good Wizards Turned BAD Confusion Creator" crystal ball, he cackled happily and flicked on the power switch.  
  
"Press 1 to view random good people to play tricks on. Press 2 to view random world to create chaos in. Press 3 for automatic confusion creator," the automated, monotone voice said.  
  
Saruman grinned evilly and paused for only a second before pressing button one.  
  
Immediately, a mist filled the crystal ball. It read: Processing, Please Wait. When it was finally ready, it began to clear and showed a group of travelers --- nine, to be exact.  
  
The wizard's eyes lit up with excitement, and his fingers twitched. He pressed the Save button before selecting button two.  
  
A blue, green, and misty white orb floated inside the ball, and Saruman scratched his head. He selected Zoom and then smiled. The picture enlarged, focusing on a hall crammed with young humans. On the walls were strange looking metal sort of cabinets. It looked to Saruman like chaos already. He grinned and pressed button three.  
  
The ball cleared and he could read "Options":  
  
-- Set Type of Transfer  
  
-- Set Limitations  
  
-- Set Time Limit  
  
Saruman quickly picked his settings:  
  
-- Immediate Transfer  
  
-- Equipment (includes all objects appropriate)  
  
-- Normal Standard Change (includes race, age, and appearance)  
  
-- Minimum Set Limitations (cannot leave designated area, cannot inform others of Middle Earth, cannot use original names)  
  
-- No Time Limit --- Never to Forever  
  
The wizard's eyes were aglow when he chose the last command: Create Confusion...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~  
  
Gandalf didn't remember having gone to sleep. So when he opened his eyes, he was even more confused. He lay on a stone cold floor in a small room with curiously odd-looking shiny objects attached to the walls. On the other side of him were small rooms with swinging open doors. He rubbed his eyes. In all his life of wizardry, never had he seen such objects. He stood slowly, scratching his head, when he noticed he was not alone; His eight companions from Moria lay about his feet. But --- wait --- they looked so...strange. What were they wearing? He turned and suddenly saw himself in the wall. He gasped and stepped back. That wasn't him. His beard was short, and his hair was only just growing around his head. And --- what was he wearing? His clothes were grey and loose fitting, but tight compared to his robes. What kind of a sick joke was this?  
  
Gandalf growled. It wasn't funny.  
  
"Aragorn!" He began to say sharply, but all that came out was a muffled, "Argh!"  
  
But it woke the rest of them. They all moaned and groaned in sleep until Gandalf prodded them to look in the mirror.  
  
Aragorn's hair was neatly trimmed [for a change], and he wore a pair of khaki slacks with a plaid green shirt that had sleeves rolled just to his elbows, along with a black tie. Boromir looked much the same, but with short-sleeves and no tie. Legolas, on the other hand, screamed when he saw himself until Aragorn hit him hard enough in the head to stun him. His hair was as short as the others, which he found to be utterly unacceptable and embarrassing. His ears had lost some of their pointiness, and he spent much of his time trying to stretch them until they turned red. He wore casual Levi's Red Label jeans and a pricey Armani shirt, though his sneakers alone must have cost a fortune. But all the former elf could do was shriek silently in horror.  
  
However, Gimli had hands down, changed the most. He was balding and had almost no beard at all. He was taller but still shorter than Legolas. He sported a fashionable stained-with-ketchup janitor's uniform, and fainted when he felt the almost beardless chin.  
  
The hobbits, however, were delighted when they realized they were only a few inches shorter than Gandalf. Merry and Pippin both wore casual jeans and matching blue and green T-shirts that read: Greenday, in bold, white letters. Sam wore loose cargo pants and a black T-shirt that read: Melrose High School Wrestlers. Frodo was the least changed. His thick brown hair was only barely trimmed, but now hidden beneath a blue ski cap. He wore a white shirt with a plaid blue and white short-sleeved shirt over it with casual khakis.  
  
The four of them handled the changes the best and began contests of who could touch the ceiling first until Gandalf silenced them with a stony glare.  
  
"Now," he said, coughing, "We must find out what has happened to us. Obviously, this is more than a simple joke. *Someone* has been fiddling with power far beyond their comprehension."  
  
He stopped, and everyone turned to look at Pippin. He turned bright red.  
  
"Hey, don't look at me. I didn't do it."  
  
Gandalf eyed him suspiciously before going on.  
  
"It is my belief that we are to be trapped in this prison until we find some other way of escape ---"  
  
A door swung open behind the already startled group. Two teenage boys walked in and then abruptly stopped, noticing the odd arrangement before them.  
  
"Dude, this school gets weirder and weirder every day," one murmured while turning walking back out.  
  
His friend muttered under his breath, "Yeah, man. I mean, who hangs out in the bathroom of all places?"  
  
Their voices faded, and Gandalf looked even more confused.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A/N: Okay...what do you think? I'm thinking...I was really bored...[any advice much appreciated! And any review too! *wink wink nudge nuge*] 


	2. Enter: The Macabre World Of High School

Chapter 2: The Macabre World Of High School  
  
"All right," Gandalf said slowly. "We go through those doors, and we find out where we are. But," he paused, looking at Pippin, "Do NOT touch anything."  
  
Pippin's eyes enlarged in innocence. "Why are you looking at me? I didn't ---"  
  
Gandalf interrupted him. "No reason, Master Hobbit. No reason at all."  
  
The wizard then walked past the others and cautiously opened the door. He almost fainted when he heard a sudden ringing from above him. It repeated five times before there was only silence and the beating of hearts.  
  
Aragorn, who had reached instinctively for a weapon, had instead found a card inside his pocket. His eyes widened, and he pulled Gandalf back inside while the others crowded around him.  
  
"Look!"  
  
He pointed to a picture on the hard plastic card that looked exactly like he did. Beside the photo was a description of him: 165 lbs, 5' 11", and 45 years old.  
  
It wasn't long before the others soon found similar cards in their own pockets. But Gandalf found something else.  
  
His voice was low when he said, "I know whose devilry this is." He paused for emphasis as the others looked to him in awe. "The CCC Ball..."  
  
He looked slowly from person to person until Merry said innocently, "Umm, what's that?"  
  
Gandalf's eyes widened. "You do not know?" He swallowed. "The revered Confusion Creator Crystal Ball has been passed down for ages now, different ones for every ruler's personality." He shuddered. "We are under its spell..."  
  
Silence.  
  
Finally, Sam asked, "Umm, how do you know?"  
  
Gandalf gravely handed a piece of paper to Frodo, his hands trembling.  
  
"Read it, my lad. I cannot."  
  
Frodo nodded and grimly read aloud:  
  
"Congratulations! You are recipients of a current spell cast by the "Good Wizards Turned Bad Confusion Creator" crystal ball. Have fun!"  
  
Sam burst into tears while Boromir patted him on the back, trying to hold them back himself.  
  
"What can we do?" Legolas asked, his voice trembling.  
  
Gandalf was silent for a moment. "We have but one choice: to survive in this evil place until our time is over. The CCC Ball never fails." He paused. "We must take on these new identities." He held up his own card. "Our names are no longer known here."  
  
"But Ga---," Aragorn's voice was muffled before he could finish saying the wizard's name.  
  
"You see? We cannot even speak of our past. It is part of the spell."  
  
And so it began. Gandalf became Mr. Isaac Grey, Aragorn was John Rauling, Boromir was Thomas Davies, and Gimli was Herbert Nerry. Legolas became Luke Greene, Merry was Nicholas Dane, Pippin was Peter Daniels, Sam was Mark Garnerre, and Frodo was Christopher Cory.  
  
Finally, they were ready. Before they left the room, Gandalf turned to them.  
  
"At the end of the day, we meet here. Watch for any ways of escape." He looked at Pippin. "Don't mess anything up."  
  
As they filed slowly out the door, the group found the hall to be empty. There were more doors and more hallways in every direction. Every step was taken with precaution. Well, almost every step. Pippin was soon getting bored of simply walking endlessly though the halls, when he spied a bright red object on the wall. It read in smooth, white letters: PULL. He shrugged, and pulled it.

.

Four former hobbits, a former elf, and a principal sat in a small office with no windows and only one entrance.  
  
"You do know why you gentlemen are here, don't you?" The older lady said slowly, eyeing them each suspiciously. "Pulling the fire alarm is a disturbance in schools and creates unwanted chaos and commotion, as well as consequences for those pranksters who think it a funny joke." She tapped her foot impatiently on the floor. "So who is it? We know it's one of you. We caught it all on tape and are giving the culprit one last chance before ---"  
  
Legolas interrupted her, his face turning red with anger. "You have no right to threaten me, old woman! I am a prince of ---"  
  
Frodo stood up quickly and stepped on the former elf's foot, coughing loudly to silence him. "We are sorry, my lady. It is just ---"  
  
"My lady?" She stared at him. "Are you mocking me?"  
  
Frodo hastily shook his head. "Oh no, I just...umm...I uhh...." He trailed off.  
  
The principal sighed in exasperation. "All right. If none of you will confess, then all of you have detention until further notice." She began to stand until Pippin finally let his head fall into his hands, a sob escaping his throat.  
  
"Fine. Fine! It was me!" He sniffled. "It's always me." He looked up. "It's not my fault! It said 'pull'! I was just following directions! For once I follow directions, and now it's all over!"  
  
There was silence, while the principal stared in awe at the whimpering student before her. Never, in all her years in being principal, had she ever met such an odd group. First it was the prince, then the 'my lady', and now a student claiming he had pulled the fire alarm by following directions?  
  
She was in the midst of pondering these questions when three men burst through the door, looking anxious and flushed.  
  
"Are you the...leader here?" Gandalf asked, choosing his words carefully. He eyed the principal and found it odd that the teachers had directed him to a woman.  
  
But she nodded, and paused before remembering something.  
  
"Oh yes, are you the substitute teachers here? You are just in time --- we have temporary substitutes filling in at the moment." She smiled politely. "Could you wait just a moment before I have you signed in?" She coughed, looking down at the suddenly fidgety group of students before her. "I have some other matters to attend to."  
  
Gandalf merely gaped at her until Merry suddenly blurted, "Them? Teachers? Yeah right!"  
  
The principal looked at them incredulously. "How dare you be so disrespectful!" She had become angry now. "I want all your names! Now!"  
  
They all stared at her in question until she finally scowled, "Well? Get out your IDs!"  
  
"Oh yeah, those..." Sam muttered as they all fished into their pockets to retrieve their only just found plastic cards of identification.  
  
When Pippin had gotten his out, he read hesitantly, "My name is...uhh...Peter Daniels." He paused, leaning over to see Frodo's card. "Is that how you pronounce it? I've never heard it before."  
  
The principal gaped at them, not for the first time that day. Aragorn coughed, stirring her attention.  
  
"We are actually here to uhh...excuse these...students..." He trailed off, attempting to find words that he couldn't say.  
  
Gandalf interrupted him. "They are new here, as are we. I believe they have come from...very far away. Their culture is quite different."  
  
The principal nodded, though still doubtful. She turned to a file cabinet and began looking through the papers.  
  
"Well," she announced after a moment, "they seem to have no past records, so perhaps you are right." She turned back to the group. "But that does not mean you will be excused completely from the consequences. You will all serve a week's detention for your first period teacher."  
  
She sighed as they simply sat there, waiting for her to finish, although she already had.  
  
"Well? Do you not have your schedules then?"  
  
They all shook their heads, and she sighed again. Beeping the call button to her secretary, she quickly asked for their schedules, which were promptly brought in and distributed.  
  
As they filed out, she sighed in relief, shaking her head. She turned again to the file cabinet for the papers for the teachers, only to find that they too, had left. She sighed again before rushing to the door.  
  
"Excuse me? Uh, excuse me!"  
  
They all turned around in response, and she sighed. "Just - just the teachers please."  
  
The students looked in question at the oldest looking teacher, and he muttered something to them. The students shrugged and kept walking until they reached the bathroom and went in.  
  
Meanwhile, the principal, now impatient, handed the teachers their assigned classrooms. It wasn't long before they were each separated as a teacher led them to their appointed rooms. Gandalf stood uncertainly in front of a group of students, speechless for the first time in his life, while four former hobbits and a former elf decided to leave the bathroom and venture out into the macabre world of high school... A/N: Hehe...I had fun with this...can you tell? Oh yeah, and uh, sorry about the name changing [I tried to make them fit them! sniffles]...but you can't have an Aragorn walking around in school and you not notice, right? 


	3. Travis

A/N: Sorry it took so long, guys...I'm slow...and still accepting cough needing any advice out there! And oh! One more thing --- can anyone tell that I incorporated some of the good old LotR extras into here? Eh? Actually, just one line, but tell me if you notice it. Hehehe...  
  
Listening to: Bend and Not Break by D/C and Anthem of Our Dying Day by Story of the Year...how bout you?  
  
Chapter 3: Travis  
  
Before he knew it, the former Ranger who could have handled practically anything, now stood cowering before a twenty-two-student Algebra class. He was just about to give up and go hide in the shadows of behind the desk when a teacher's head appeared in the doorway.  
  
"Hey! I ---"  
  
She stopped when she saw that the teacher was not who she expected.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry." She paused. "You must be the substitute." She smiled brightly. "I'm the teacher just across the hall. If you need me, just holler."  
  
She had begun to leave when Aragorn abruptly jumped and hurried to the hallway.  
  
"Actually, I uhh, do need some help." He heaved a sigh. "I'm uhh, er, quite new to this..."  
  
He trailed off, but the teacher smiled understandingly. "Oh, I know. You're new to being a sub, right?" She laughed lightly. "It's all right. We all get nervous our first teaching times."  
  
He laughed appreciatively. "That's exactly it." He sighed. "I'm not fit for the job, that's what I've learned."  
  
She laughed again, something that seemed to fit her personality quite well. "Don't worry. Just follow the teacher's instructions; they should be on the desk. If they give you any trouble, remember," she pointed to her classroom, "I'm just across the hall." She smiled again. "I'm Danae. Danae Walker, by the way."  
  
She offered him her hand for him to shake, but Aragorn was baffled. What was he supposed to do with a hand?  
  
He swallowed before smiling and taking her hand and giving it a gentle kiss.  
  
"It's my pleasure, Danae."  
  
She stood shocked for a moment before chuckling and giving him a laughing look. She turned to go back to her classroom and called over her shoulder, "Good luck."  
  
He swallowed and took a deep breath before turning back to the classroom.  
  
"I'll need it."

(...pretend there's a break here...)  
  
"That's it," Pippin announced as the five former Middle Earth residents stood looking awkward in the empty hall.  
  
"What's it?" Legolas asked, his voice closer to a grumble.  
  
Merry nodded in agreement. "We're outta here."  
  
Before anyone else could reply, the two former mischief-making hobbits darted to a door that led to the outside. There was a loud crack as they ricocheted off the metal door and flew four feet into the air before landing on the amazingly hard stone floor.  
  
"What was that for?"  
  
Pippin glared at the metal door, rubbing his gluteus maximus.  
  
Legolas rolled his eyes. "Limitations. We can't leave, remember?"  
  
"What do we do here, anyway?" Sam asked, frantically searching the barren hallway for any hint of solace.  
  
"I know! I know!"  
  
Pippin began jumping up and down eagerly with his hand raised in the air.  
  
"What?" Legolas asked dryly.  
  
"It's a school, right? So we swim around in a bunch of water!"  
  
They were all silent, staring at Pippin in disbelief until Merry said politely, "Be quiet."  
  
Pippin went to sulk in a corner of the hall and put on some large headphones.  
  
"Now then, where were we?" Legolas asked.  
  
"We were ---"  
  
Frodo was interrupted when Pippin suddenly erupted in a loud, singing, and most definitely tone-deaf voice:  
  
"All by myself, don't wanna be all by ---"  
  
Legolas snarled and threw a sock at him, with perfect aim as usual. It muffled Pippin's voice when it lodged in his mouth.  
  
"Put a sock in it," Legolas said, chortling at his sour pun.  
  
"Umm...okay," Frodo said slowly, inching away from both of them.  
  
Sam meanwhile was leaning closer to Pippin's headphones.  
  
"Aren't you supposed to be singing Greenday anyway? It's what your shirt says." He shrugged when Frodo gave him a weird look. "I like Greenday."  
  
"You're right!" Pippin exclaimed once he had popped the sock out of his moth. With a glare at Legolas, Pippin pulled a CD out of his back pocket and stuck it in the CD player. He had begun to sing when Legolas picked him up angrily and threw him into a room of calculus students.  
  
An hour later, Pippin emerged a new hobbit...

(...pretend there's a break here...)  
  
"Here you go," the old man said happily. "You can have my job. The bathrooms are right over there."  
  
Gimli watched the janitor walk away while he now held a bucket of soapy water and a mop. He sighed and walked over to the bathroom.  
  
His disappearing beard was bad enough, and then the bright orange outfit. Now, it was cleaning the most disgusting place he had ever seen in his life. And he had seen a lot.  
  
He grumbled when he saw himself in the mirror and turned to the stalls. That was when he noticed something strange about one of the toilets. It wasn't a plain, stained white as the others. It was shining gold. And there were strange markings around it that couldn't have been graffiti.  
  
He sighed. Things just got a little bit weirder.  
  
A/N: Thanks to all the reviewers! I promise, I will do shout-outs, but right now, I'm just trying to upload really fast! Thanks again! Review review review! (don't ask about the title...hehe...)


	4. Rainbow of Food

Chapter 4: Rainbow of Food  
  
Their Fellowship of nine had successfully decreased to a number of four. Other than that, things weren't getting much better.  
  
"It's sort of nice being by ourselves now," Merry said after there was a lull in the conversation of silence. "No more G ---, er, wizard, to boss us around and poke us with his big stick."  
  
"Staff. It's a staff," Legolas mumbled grumpily.  
  
No one paid any attention.  
  
"I know exactly what you mean! Remember Bill?" No one did, but Sam went on. "Well that king guy made me set him loose." Sam glowered in remembrance.  
  
"And that other one --- the one with the big shield and horn --- he was always looking at me like he --- well, you know..."  
  
Frodo flushed.  
  
Merry went on in his rant, oblivious to everyone else.  
  
"And then there was that prancing royal elf whose main goal in life was to fix his hair." Merry was laughing when he realized that Legolas was still there. "Oh, I mean, uh, your friend whats-his-face --- yeah, him ---"  
  
Legolas stood up stiffly. "I am growing sick and tired of you foolish Halflings! If you ---"  
  
Merry, whom Legolas had pinned up against the wall, shouted, "Look! A blow- dryer!"  
  
Legolas gasped as he turned to look. "Where?"  
  
Merry took off down the hallway cackling like an evil, mischievous hobbit who had much practice doing these sorts of things.  
  
The two of them disappeared around the corner just as a loud ringing filled the school. Students poured out of classrooms and filled the hall. Before he knew it, Frodo had lost track of Sam.  
  
He searched desperately around him, but it was no use. And even then, people kept shoving him in every direction, shouting insults, some of which, Frodo wouldn't even name.  
  
"Get outta the way, loser!"  
  
"Move it ---"  
  
"Stop blocking the way, moron ---"  
  
By then, Frodo had begun his famous technique of escaping pressure. He squeezed his eyes shut, held his breath, and began to wish furiously he was far, far, far ---  
  
"Umm, you dropped this," someone said.  
  
Frodo opened his eyes slowly to see a boy about his age standing across from him with a piece of paper in his hand. It was his schedule.  
  
"Oh, thanks..."  
  
The boy had gone when Frodo realized he was supposed to be somewhere, and he darted after the boy.  
  
"Wait! I need help! I'm lost!"  
  
The boy was gone, but there were plenty of people there to turn and look at Frodo like he was a stranger from another planet.  
  
Frodo sighed and pulled out his schedule. When he looked up, he sighed again, but in relief. Stepping into the room just across from him, he read on the board:  
  
Today's lesson: Tolkien and his masterpiece The Lord of the Rings.  
  
Frodo shrugged.  
  
"No idea what that is," he murmured to himself as he slouched down in a seat.  
  
o.o  
  
Meanwhile, Merry and Pippin had met up at lunch, getting their trays piled full of food.  
  
Merry gasped. "Apple pie!"  
  
Pippin sprinted over and grabbed a couple of pieces, while already stuffing his face with french fries.  
  
When they reached the counter to pay for the food, the cafeteria lady looked at them like they were both crazy.  
  
"You're gonna eat all that?" she asked incredulously.  
  
Pippin looked at her confused. "Should I get more?"  
  
She shook her head hastily before ringing up the price.  
  
"That will be...$54.50, for this gentleman's plate."  
  
Pippin wrinkled his nose in awe. "No way!"  
  
"Then I suggest you put some back ---"  
  
"No way!"  
  
Merry whispered something in his ear.  
  
Pippin's eyes lit up.  
  
"No way!"  
  
They both laughed and then shouted simultaneously, "FOOD FIGHT!"  
  
Throwing pieces of apple pie into the crowd of eaters, Pippin was not long after, hit with a gob of jello.  
  
Mashed potatoes would've been worse, he thought to himself, licking his nose.  
  
They came flying at him along with some chocolate pudding only moments later.  
  
Before he could retaliate, he looked out into the lunchroom to see food flying high in every direction. Colors were everywhere, and Pippin sighed in admiration. It was more beautiful than anything he had ever seen before.  
  
He and Merry darted out into the crowd, and there was a sudden lull in the fight.  
  
Pippin gathered his own team's forces to him, while Merry took the other half.  
  
The former hobbit stood atop a table while the others looked at him from below, their hearts weary and tired, their faces smeared with applesauce and rice.  
  
Pippin cleared his throat before beginning:  
  
"Students of Melrose, my fellow comrades! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of students fails...when we forsake our friends and all bonds of fellowship...but it is not this day!" He paused. "An hour of detention and melted ice cream when all hope comes crashing down, but it is not this day! This day, we fight! For all that you hold dear, stand, students of Melrose High!"  
  
There was a tremendous roar of delighted screams and applause, to which Pippin bowed.  
  
He then turned slowly and raised his hand. When he let it drop to his side, it was a signal for the next battle to begin. The students rushed forward with screams and shouts, their courage to fight borne anew.  
  
o.o  
  
An hour later, however, Merry and Pippin were reliving an all too old experience of sitting in the principal's office. Though this time, they were smeared with chocolate, rice pudding, chicken wings, and hash browns.  
  
o.o  
  
A/N: Sorry I took so long! I really am! Our computer has been down, and I haven't been in the best of moods to write. Thanks for the reviews! I was going to do shout outs this chapter, but there's no time, so next chappie! I promise! Toodles! 


	5. Fitting In

Chapter 5: Fitting In  
  
Boromir had luckily survived the first few hours of the school day; he had been assigned to he grueling, fast-paced class of independent studies.  
  
When it was time for a lunch break, he found a seat alone and off to the side.  
  
But he wasn't in peaceful silence for long.  
  
A group of talkative, young looking teachers walked over to his table, engrossed in their own conversation and oblivious to Boromir's figure sitting in the corner.  
  
"Yes, so I was telling my students the same old same old, like "I can't believe you are all so lazy, never do your homework, don't put any effort into your work, yada yada yada, but like, when I went back to my computer, there was a message from Pete."  
  
One of the teachers squealed. "Ooh! Pete! But he's like, one of the ---"  
  
"English teachers, I know. But like, when I ---"  
  
Boromir was getting quite tired of this by now, unaccustomed to such talk, so he stood and attempted to squeeze past the huddled, whispering group of teachers.  
  
"Oh, sorry," he said politely as he unfortunately bumped into one.  
  
The group suddenly turned silent as they all looked at him. The one he had bumped into smiled politely, and her eyes lit up.  
  
"Oh, you must be new here."  
  
"Uhh, yes actually. I just got here this ---"  
  
He suddenly stopped, noticing a bright gold band on the teacher's finger. Gold...a ring...  
  
"Yes?" She asked sweetly, hiding her hands behind her back.  
  
Boromir looked up, startled. "Oh, I was just..."  
  
The teachers giggled and the one he had bumped into smiled and said, "Well, maybe we'll talk again. I'm Mary. Mary Oldsman. In the social studies department, by the way."  
  
"Ohh, how nice..."  
  
Boromir attempted to smile politely and quickly hurried away, muttering to himself, "Must get...ring..."  
  
.o.  
  
Sam meanwhile had found himself lost in the crowd of students after the bell had rung.  
  
When he suddenly realized a group of muscled stocky boys had surrounded him, he attempted to flee. They smiled at him in what he thought were evil smirks.  
  
"So you're a wrestler, eh?" One of them asked in a deep, gruff voice.  
  
"Well, uhh..."  
  
The boy surprisingly stuck out his hand. "We wrestlers stick together." He grinned. "Welcome to Melrose High School."  
  
.o.  
  
Legolas had lost track of Merry only moments after students had flooded the hallways. He grunted.  
  
"Curse all Halflings..."  
  
He suddenly noticed an odd group of girls practically swooning in front of him. The leader of the band stepped forward, giggling and close to hysterics.  
  
"Hi, I'm Emily." She smiled up at him and fluttered her eyelashes.  
  
"Uhh..."  
  
Legolas began backing away, and Emily frowned.  
  
The former elf had met many unfortunate troubles in the woods of Mirkwood, and he knew trouble when he saw it. He took his chance and headed off down the hallway in a mad dash.  
  
Emily shrieked behind him, "Get 'im, girls!"  
  
They all screamed wildly, and Legolas wished that he had his bow and arrow right about now.  
  
.o.  
  
After Merry and Pippin were excused from the principal's office, they each had no less than a month's worth of detention and referrals, whatever that meant.  
  
When they stepped out the door, however, they were greeted with roars of applause and screams. Girls held signs that read "We LOVE YOU!" and others simply screamed.  
  
Merry and Pippin looked at each other once before grinning. Taking bows, they each raised their hands high to wave to their adoring fans. There was an even louder roar of applause accompanied by screams.  
  
They were soon swept up in the crowd as students came to ask for their autographs.  
  
Merry grinned and looked at Pippin.  
  
"What's my name again?"  
  
.o.  
  
Frodo sat in class, hunched low in his seat, hoping to remain unnoticed by the teacher who had just begun class.  
  
"Please take out your books," she said, holding her own copy of a large book.  
  
As everyone else rummaged around in their book bags, Frodo hunched even lower into his seat. But the teacher noticed him despite his efforts.  
  
"New student?" She raised her eyes at Frodo, and everyone turned to look at him.  
  
He nodded weakly. "Uhh, yeah..."  
  
She smiled. "Please, come to the front and introduce yourself."  
  
He froze. "Uhh, no thanks."  
  
Some of the other kids snickered. The teacher simply nodded.  
  
"All right. Everyone, please turn to Chapter 7, In The House of Tom Bombadil."  
  
"Tom Bombadil?" Frodo suddenly exclaimed, jumping in his seat.  
  
Everyone turned to look at him once again, and he shifted nervously.  
  
"Uhh...yeah...Tom...great guy, you know..."  
  
Frodo smiled weakly. "Not by any chance is there a Goldberry?"  
  
When no one responded, Frodo laughed to himself out loud.  
  
"Oh, I uh, guess not. I mean, coincidence, isn't it? I'm sure...there must be plenty of Tom Bombadils out there, or in here...you know, whichever...I mean, haha, how am I here when I'm really sort of out there...or maybe not because I can't be in two places at once...haha, what a silly thought. You know...just...umm..."  
  
Frodo flushed and slunk down in his seat. This was going to be one long day in the act of fitting in.  
  
.o.  
  
A/N: Really, I've gotta know; who here likes Dashboard? shriek WHEE! ... random question...  
  
SHOUT OUTS!! [man, I'm angry...they got rid of all my stars...]  
  
Lady Kaori --- hey!! How's your summer going? I hope you had a good birthday! I didn't forget! Left a note on your xanga [and mine]! 16! Hehe, guess that means you can drive. Sort of scary, right? :) Well, thanks for reviewing! :)  
  
Makia Durron --- hehe good idea! ::wink:: Maybe I'll use it...:) thanks for reviewing!  
  
childofGod-4ever --- ::squints:: Is that really you? ::gasps:: It is!! jumps up and down with excitement Cool! You're back! I'm sorry I wasn't able to put you in the awards ceremony sniffs You're still special!  
  
Pippinsgal011890 --- Wow! I do feel special! I try to make people laugh! I'm not good at humor fics...::sniffs:: it's my first. Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Kuroi Nek-kun --- Thanks for reviewing! I liked Pip's speech too! :)  
  
Mystic Pip --- Much to my own dismay, I am continuing this story hehe...thanks for reviewing!  
  
Yami Estel --- Really? You see him as punk? I guess it's just from different points of view ::laughs:: He just never struck me as anything but preppy. Thanks for the review though!  
  
Hermione Heart --- I'm glad you like it so far. Haha yeah, and I thought taking a tremendously royal and gallant speech taken from Aragorn and given to Pip would be sort of weird considering their personalities hehe :) Hey now, everyone knows Pip steals mushrooms [actually thought, it was Frodo hehe]! Why not speeches? Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Ciel-Undomiel --- Yeah, the name changing was sort of...hehe...out there :P Oh well. I had to do it sniffs. I have yet to get used to it too :) Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Mrs. L. P. Weasley --- Thanks for reviewing! I'm attempting to update sooner...attempting, remember that ;)  
  
Dunthonwen --- You're back! [darn, I thought I was rid of you hehe, j/k] Yay! More reviewers I know! :) You should help me on this one b/c you're more of a humor person than I am hehe...as you can probably see shrugs Thanks for being once again, a truly loyal reviewer!  
  
WolfCub2668 --- Thanks for reviewing! I enjoy the compliments! :)  
  
kathysidle --- Ooh! Yay! Finally someone who likes the names! :) I tried to fit them to the person...I dunno if they're okay though. Thanks for the review!  
  
Lady Starlight --- ::gasps:: Wow, your review really startled me there :) It's been a long time! Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad I can make you laugh! :)  
  
kazbels --- Thanks! I hope it keeps getting funnier. I seem to be running out of ideas :p Thanks for the review!  
  
Whew. That's everybody! Thanks to all reviewers!  
  
... Dashboard Confessional cough is the cough best cough ... sorry, I couldn't help it ... they're playing right now on my xanga ... 


	6. End of the Day News

Author's Note: Keep in mind Legolas isn't one of my favorite characters...I'm still being nice to him :p  
  
Chapter 6: End of the Day News  
  
Gandalf, the wise old wizard that he was, decided he would skip his lunch break when it finally came. Exhausted from the horrifying needs of discipline he saw in his World History class, he sank back into his chair and closed his eyes.  
  
When he opened them, a student stood before him sheepishly, with a piece of paper in her hand.  
  
"Yes?" Gandalf mumbled grumpily.  
  
She smiled weakly. "Umm, I was wondering, er, well, I don't think the grade for this essay is correct."  
  
"Your grade? On that essay?"  
  
She nodded quickly.  
  
Gandalf groaned and took the paper from her rather impolitely. Quickly scanning the neat handwriting, he smiled at the girl before scratching out the red marked 84. With his own pen, he wrote in a larger grade: 74.  
  
When he handed it back to the student, she gasped and ran out of the room without looking back.  
  
Gandalf smiled and sank back into his seat, closing his eyes once again. He was getting the hang of this.  
  
.o.  
  
Legolas gasped, out of breath when he finally managed to dart into a classroom, overlooked by the crowd of screaming girls that had just turned the corner.  
  
As he looked into the classroom he had interrupted, he noticed that everyone was staring at him. The teacher, a middle-aged balding man, politely asked him his name.  
  
"Uhh..." Legolas scanned his mind for his name. "I, umm...Luke! Yes, Luke Greene!"  
  
There were a few laughs, but mostly sighs from girls that had only just noticed his dreamy blue eyes.  
  
When Legolas saw them, he grew tense until he realized they were still sitting at their desks. After the teacher had signed him in, the former elf took the only seat empty, which was in the front row.  
  
It turned out he had luckily stepped into the right class: AP Government. The teacher began his lesson, and Legolas merely sulked. What was a prince of Mirkwood doing in this boring torture chamber?  
  
The prince looked around him, noticing a few other bored students doodling or staring out the window. Most of the girls however, were staring at him. When he saw them, they blushed and looked away quickly. All except one. Legolas found her intriguing as the first girl not to swoon in his presence. She actually seemed to be one of the few to understand the lesson the teacher was giving, and she jotted down notes in her book occasionally.  
  
She does not have the golden, sun-ripened hair of my people, Legolas thought to himself. In fact, it is not brown either. How does one get hair like that at all? He sighed. It's almost like a persistent flickering flame that never dies, like a sunset of scarlet fading against the emerald blue skies, like ---  
  
"Mr. Greene."  
  
The teacher's voice interrupted Legolas' thoughts, and the former elf finally managed to tear his gaze away from the girl, who was now standing and looking at Legolas quite agitatedly.  
  
"Mr. Greene," the teacher repeated. Legolas looked at the teacher who looked rather puzzled. "May I help you? Class is over."  
  
"Oh..." Legolas coughed. "Oh, yes, I was just, well, wondering if you could perhaps, uh, tell me a bit more about uh, what you think of our government at the moment..."  
  
He caught a look at the girl out of the corner of his eye as she left, and he noticed how tall and slim she was ---  
  
"Well, actually, why don't you tell me first of your opinion? I usually --- "  
  
Legolas interrupted the teacher, realizing he would have to know something now.  
  
"Could we maybe, continue this discussion next lesson? I just remembered, I have an...appointment..."  
  
The teacher nodded with a smile, and Legolas hurried out of the classroom. Stepping out into the hallway, he quickly searched for any signs of the crazy girls he had so unfortunately encountered before. In doing so, however, he bumped into someone else.  
  
"Oh, pardon me, I'm sorry," Legolas hurriedly mumbled.  
  
He turned to find himself staring at the girl that had fascinated him so much before. She was even more interesting up close.  
  
She, however, simply gave him an odd look.  
  
"You know, Mr. Stevens won't raise your grade or anything if you attempt to create some form of intelligent conversation with him." She began to walk away but turned to look at Legolas just before she would disappear around the corner. "Not that you could actually create some form of intelligent conversation of the like anyway."  
  
Legolas stood in the frame of the classroom's doorway, dazed. She smelt of the woods at home.  
  
.o.  
  
"I'll see you guys, uh, tomorrow then," Sam called as he waved to his newfound friends.  
  
They grunted in reply. "Practice is in the mornings, weight room, 6:30 sharp."  
  
Sam nodded and waved one last time before heading into the boys' bathroom. He was greeted by finally, some familiar faces.  
  
In only a few moments, the whole fellowship was there, having survived their first day of this strange, frightening new world. Gandalf quickly ordered them in line.  
  
"All right. First we begin with any reports of discovery of ways to escape." A few raised their hands. "Yes, Master Per --- er, what is your name again?"  
  
Pippin grinned. "Luke Greene, sir."  
  
"Luke Greene?" Legolas suddenly asked incredulously. "But that's ---"  
  
Merry shoved him in the side and successfully silenced him. It was nice being tall.  
  
"Yes, he is Luke Greene, and I am Nicholas Dane."  
  
He gave a sly wink in Pippin's direction, while politely introducing all the other students.  
  
Pointing at Sam, Merry said, "That is Mark Garnerre and Christopher Cory over there beside him," referring to Frodo. "The former elf is Peter Daniels."  
  
Gandalf nodded.  
  
"Very well then. Mr. Greene, proceed with your report."  
  
Pippin grinned. "Well, my friend Nick and I, have come to the conclusion that we are trapped within these walls." He added with a laugh, "Which isn't so bad. I mean, we've become the two most popular kids in ---"  
  
Gandalf coughed. "Thank you very much." He looked over at Merry. "And how did you both discover this, Mr. Dane?"  
  
Merry rubbed his backside in remembrance. "Well, we attempted an escape and found ourselves ricocheted back into the hallway." He grimaced. "It hurt."  
  
"Hmm..." Gandalf was silent for a moment. "Anyone else? No? Then, has anyone discovered anyone perhaps, that might help us, in our plight?"  
  
Aragorn coughed, bringing everyone's attention to him as he stepped out of the shadows. "I think I, uh, know someone who would be willing to help. She is a, uh, teacher. From across the hall."  
  
Legolas snickered, though no one knew why. Gandalf went on, "Very good. Anyone else?"  
  
Pippin grinned. "I know one." He paused, and Merry went on, "Well, a few." Pippin snickered. "Maybe a lot."  
  
Gandalf sighed. "Now then, how many?"  
  
They both laughed simultaneously. "Who knows?" Merry said.  
  
Pippin sighed. "Could be only ten."  
  
"Could be a hundred," Merry added.  
  
"Of course, fan clubs are always growing," Pippin murmured as an afterthought.  
  
"A fan club?" Gandalf rolled his eyes. "All right. Anyone else?"  
  
Gimli sighed. "Well, the janitors are almost nice. Seem willing to help if I asked 'em."  
  
Sam smiled weakly. "And I know a few uh, friends, who would help."  
  
Boromir shuddered. "Well, even if I don't like to admit it, there are a few teachers who would well, possibly help if I asked." He grimaced in remembrance.  
  
"There's a girl in one of my classes..." Legolas trailed off with a dazed smile.  
  
"Well, it seems that everyone has someone except..." Gandalf paused, his gaze falling on Frodo. "Christopher?"  
  
Frodo looked down. "Well, I don't know anyone yet..."  
  
Merry slapped him on the back heartily. "Don't worry. We'll find you someone, won't we, Luke?"  
  
Legolas looked up, but Pippin stepped in front of him. "Yeah, sure we will, Christopher. Plenty of people in our fan club."  
  
"Very well then. Does anyone else have any news of...home?"  
  
Frodo looked up. "I do." He paused. "Uh, well, in one of my classes today, we had a lesson on one of the works of some man named...uh, I think it was Tolkien. And he wrote a book that had Tom Bombadil in it." The former hobbits looked up at the name.  
  
"Tom Bombadil? How is the old chap anyway?"  
  
Frodo shrugged. "I dunno. That's all I found out. It turns out that no one had read the chapters they were supposed to, so everyone just had to catch up. The teacher was really mad."  
  
Gandalf stroked his beard. "Hmm...very interesting."  
  
Merry gave a loud cough, and everyone turned to look at him. He and Pippin had been huddled together, whispering mischievously in one of the stalls before they emerged.  
  
"Luke and I have an announcement to make."  
  
Pippin grinned. "Yes. Nicholas and I are going to give a party in order to uh..."  
  
"Discover more about this world," Merry interjected.  
  
Gandalf continued stroking his beard. "Hmm...perhaps you have an idea there..."  
  
Pippin nodded. "We should all invite those people we mentioned earlier, and then we'll be able to uh, compose ourselves in a more orderly fashion with the help of people already living here."  
  
Gandalf continued stroking his beard. "Hmm...I will have to think about it..."  
  
"Well, do tell us soon because we need to call our agents," Merry said impatiently, pulling out his cell. "I only have 75 minutes left for this month, and I don't want to waste time having to call people at the last minute."  
  
Pippin nodded. "We should seriously consider getting Cingular Rollover minutes."  
  
"Oh, I know. Isn't it outrageous how much they charge if you go over for just one --- "  
  
Gimli coughed loudly, which seemed to be one of the only ways to get everyone's attention.  
  
"I think I've found something rather interesting."  
  
He walked over to a stall that he had previously taped up with his special janitor's tape. When he opened it, everyone gasped.  
  
Gandalf immediately stooped down to examine the strange markings.  
  
"Is it...?" Frodo wanted to know, his fingers suddenly itching.  
  
After a moment, Gandalf rose with a serious look on his face. "It is...the Toilet of Power..."  
  
.o.  
  
A/N: Haha, yeah, the last idea was actually an a friend of mine's [wynngurl --- bet you didn't think I was actually going to use it, right? :p]...thank you again to all reviewers! I'm sorry if it's taken me a while to post --- the computer has been down. Curse this horrible computer. Toodles! 


	7. Tig

A/N: I'd like to tell you all in advance (just in case you haven't picked up any hints) that I am all about having songs in fics, so ( watch for some Dashboard! If you miss it, well, I'll tell you anyway. ( But how could you?! Pick up a cd if need be. Hehehe. It's much better if you can sing along...(  
  
Listening to: Vindicated by Dashboard Confessional...I can't help it...oh, and Yellowcard too (  
  
Disclaimer: I own no rights to 'Tig' or any such ideas. (If you wanna see it, watch the extended FotR edition with actors' comments at the beginning with Frodo and Sam seeing the wood elves)  
  
Chapter 7: Tig  
  
Aragorn walked slowly back to his classroom, holding his breath. Sometimes those pesky little hobbits were a little much. They had convinced Gandalf to form some sort of...club. They hadn't had a place to hold a party, so it was decided that they would each invite someone (or someones) to become a part of their club.  
  
He paused before going into his room. The classroom across the hall had its light on, and Aragorn sighed. No time better than this, right?  
  
He walked across and knocked on the door.  
  
"Come in," he heard someone call out.  
  
Rubbing his hands together and for some odd reason, wishing he had a sword, Aragorn reluctantly walked in. The teacher he had met before sat at her desk, grading papers.  
  
"Oh, hi," she said cheerfully when she saw him. "How was your first day?"  
  
Aragorn shuddered. "I've never done anything harder in my life." He smiled weakly, sitting down on a couch by the wall and reflected on his life as a Ranger. "And I've done a lot."  
  
She laughed and leaned her head on her hand. "You'll get used to it. The kids aren't always that bad." She grinned. "Well, maybe not."  
  
He laughed. "Oh, I know. Who would have thought that young children could cause that much trouble." He coughed suddenly. "But um, I was actually here to uh, well, a uh, friend of mine, a fellow teacher here, well, some students were starting a club...and we sort of need ---"  
  
"Oh, more sponsors?"  
  
He stared at her for a moment in bafflement before nodding hastily. "Oh yes..."  
  
She smiled. "Yeah, sure. When is the first meeting?"  
  
"Oh, well, I'm not sure if they've determined that yet. Probably sometime soon." He took a deep breath and stood up. "Thank you, Ms. Walker."  
  
Before he left, she called out after him, "You know, you look an awful lot like that actor from the Lord of the Rings. You know, oh, Viggo Mortenson."  
  
"Oh...well, I can't really say I've heard of him..."  
  
She gaped at him. "What? Haven't heard of him? He plays the ruggedly handsome Ranger." She grinned.  
  
"A-a Ranger?"  
  
She nodded. "Yep. Haven't you seen it? I'm a fan myself. Aragorn was always ---"  
  
She stopped, noticing the astonished look on his face. "What is it?"  
  
He gaped at her.  
  
.o.  
  
The former hobbits and elf had been confined to Gandalf's classroom while he roamed the halls for some kind of escape route.  
  
"I'm bored," Merry said, lying underneath a desk, poking at the gum underneath.  
  
"Me too," replied Pippin who lay on top of three desks he had joined together.  
  
"Me three," Legolas sighed.  
  
Merry and Pippin glared at him. The former elf rolled his eyes and sulked in the corner.  
  
Merry sighed. "I'm bored." He crawled out from under the desk and poked Pippin in the shoulder. "Tig."  
  
Pippin grinned and poked him back. "Tog."  
  
Sam walked over to them, eyeing them curiously. Merry smirked and poked him. "Tigtag."  
  
Sam gave a light punch to Pippin. "Triple tag."  
  
Pippin poked Merry and Sam at the same time. "Double tigtag."  
  
Frodo walked over, rubbing his eyes after taking a nap on the floor.  
  
"What are you guys doing?"  
  
"We're playing Tig," Merry said, grinning.  
  
Pippin and Sam exchanged looks but just grinned.  
  
Merry poked Frodo. "Triple Tig." He smiled. "See, it's easy!"  
  
Frodo grinned and poked Sam. "Double tigtag."  
  
Merry shook his head. "No no, that's not right. You can't double tigtag a triple tig. Now you have to do an impression of an oliphaunt."  
  
Frodo groaned but got down on his hands and knees and crawled around making strange noises until they noticed some teachers peering in through the doorway looking at them strangely. Merry, Pippin, and Sam meanwhile rolled around on the floor laughing while Frodo glared at them.  
  
When Frodo was done, Merry poked Pippin in the side causing him to go in convulsions from his ticklishness.  
  
"TOGTAG!" Merry shouted over Pippin's loud laughs, even though Merry had poked him only once.  
  
Finally, he stopped and looked at Sam with a solemn look on his face.  
  
"Tigteg," he said slowly.  
  
Sam threw his hands up in the air wildly, shut his eyes, and began screaming.  
  
"What's wrong with him?" Frodo whispered to Merry.  
  
Merry gravely replied, "He has been...tigtegged, my dear friend."  
  
Frodo's eyes widened. "Tigtegged? What's ---"  
  
Pippin interrupted him with a poke. "Tug!"  
  
Frodo poked Merry. "Tigtag!"  
  
Merry shook his head, exasperated.  
  
"No no no, you can't tigtag a tug."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
Pippin rolled his eyes and sighed.  
  
"It's in the Rule Book."  
  
Frodo groaned. "Fine. Then what do I do."  
  
Merry, Pippin, and Sam (who had recently gone out of his crazed disposition) grinned evilly.  
  
"You have to drop your trousers down and go run outside in the hallways for 2 minutes."  
  
Frodo gaped at them.  
  
"What?"  
  
Merry shrugged.  
  
"Rules are rules. I'm sorry."  
  
Frodo moaned and glared at the rest of them as they peeked through the doorway, cackling with laughter.  
  
.o.  
  
(A year later, Frodo asks Merry, "Hey, how come we never play 'Tig' anymore?"  
  
Merry looks at Pippin, who shrugs and scratches his head.  
  
"Tig? What's that?"  
  
Frodo gapes at them. "What do you mean, what's that? Tig! You made me ---"  
  
Merry, Pippin, and Sam erupt in laughter, and Merry is the first to contain his laughter after a few minutes of rolling on the floor.  
  
"I'm sorry...it's just that --- hahaha --- well ---"  
  
Pippin helps him along.  
  
"Tig isn't really a --- hahaha ---"  
  
"Real game --- hahaha ---"  
  
Frodo gapes at them as his world comes crashing down.  
  
"I-I can't believe you!"  
  
Sam nods, now quite solemn.  
  
"Yes, it undermines the integrity of the whole relationship."  
  
Pippin snorts.  
  
"But, you know, that's all we really are. Lies."  
  
Merry whispers still out of breath, "A big bag of lies."  
  
Sam snorts and mutters. "Not that big a bag."  
  
Frodo turns to face everyone else and declares, "Remember that! The lie!")  
  
.o.  
  
Sorry for those of you who don't really know what I'm talking about :p It's in the actors' commentary of FotR. Hehehe...it just had to be included somewhere in this fic.  
  
Shout Outs:  
  
ShadowedWolf13 --- Thanks for your review! I did sort of try to stick the Lord of the Rings books and movies in there...hehehehe...I'm still working on that though. Anyway, thanks for reviewing!  
  
Dunthonwen --- You? Not much of a humor person? NO WAY! You make me laugh all the time!! ( Anyway, Waking Dreams? Have I read that? Hmm...got to get around to that ;) And YES! I MISS THE STARS!!! (oh, and haven't seen King Arthur yet...but I want to!!)  
  
Anaclaime --- Thanks for reviewing! And hahaha, you should have reviewed earlier because then I could have named one of the characters for you, since you're so keen on having Aragorn ;)  
  
Lady Kaori --- I refuse to say anything except UPDATE!!!! (  
  
Silvren ithildin --- Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad this story hasn't gone awry as of yet...tell me when it does ;)  
  
Kagomehigurashi12 ---- Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you like it!!  
  
Aldawen Eldatari --- Good! So it is humorous! I am definitely bad at doing humor fics --- this is my first, but never again! ;)  
  
Hermione Heart --- Yay! I actually liked the beginning more and feel like it's going downhill from there, but oh well...I guess this is going to be okay haha. Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Wynngurl --- Hey man, thanks for the idea and everything! Wink wink hehehe...(they took away our stars! I am dismayed! See, right there it would have been: star wink wink star...but NO! They destroyed the stars!!!!!!!!) Yeah, got the email and emailed you back! Wah!  
  
Kurio Neko-kun --- Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you like it so far!  
  
Margarita --- Hahaha, thanks! And I agree --- high school stinks horrendously! If only it were made interesting with LotR characters, then you know, it might just be bearable ;)  
  
LegoLissie --- Thanks for reviewing! I'm gonna try and see if I can finish this --- I'm tempted to give up sometimes but for you reviewers :p 


	8. So Impossible

Listening to: "Screaming Infidelities" by Dashboard Confessional (dude...no one seems to be a fan of them...sniffs...so sad)

Chapter 8: So Impossible (DC lyrics ahead! Yay!)

The school bathroom's mirror must have been skewed. Why else could Legolas not find someway to make himself look acceptable?

He covered his face with his hands in despair, and just as he was on the verge of tears, he heard hushed voices in a stall next to him.

"How are we supposed to get him out of there?"

"I don't know," another voice whispered. "But we've pulled it off before --- we can do it again."

"Yeah, but _last_ time, it was just a grab, run and light ---"

"So this should be easy."

There was a pause. "Yeah...yeah, it should..."

There was a short silence...and then cackles of laughter...

.o.

Gimli, Frodo, and Gandalf stood in a daze in front of a glowing, golden toilet. The former wizard bowed his head gravely.

"It is as I feared."

Gimli wrinkled his eyebrows. "But it doesn't have the markings ---"

Gandalf sighed and then turned to Frodo, looking at him grimly. In a low voice, he said slowly, "Flush...the Toilet."

The former hobbit took a deep breath and flushed it. An inscription began to flicker along the edges of the toilet seat, and Gandalf nodded.

"It reads: 'One Toilet to contaminate them all, One Toilet to find them, One Toilet to infect them all and in the sewer bind them.' "

Frodo looked up slowly.

"What must I do?"

.o.

"So class, what did you think of the Ranger?"

Frodo hunched lower in his seat, managing to catch the attention of his teacher.

"Christopher?"

He coughed. "Umm...he's...dirty?"

The teacher stared at him.

"He's...dirty. Well. Would you care to elaborate?"

"Well...he's always um, sweating, you know. Not that he wouldn't with all the um, fighting he um, does. And I don't think he owns a uh, brush...you should see his hair in the morning when he wakes up. That must be the worst case of bed hair I have ever ---"

The teacher coughed, silencing Frodo.

"Very well then. It seems you have an...imagination."

She searched the room for another victim.

"Carl, do you find the hobbits to be wise in agreeing to go with the Ranger?"

The boy shrugged. "Guess not. I mean, the hobbits are stupid. Dude, come on. What was that Frodo thinking when he "accidentally" put on the Ring. He is like, _so_ lame. Why doesn't he just admit he's corrupted already and is being a weak pawn of Sauron?"

Frodo stood up indignantly.

"Excuse me?"

Carl scoffed and gave Frodo a weird look. "You're excused."

Frodo began walking slowly towards Carl with is hands clenched.

"How _dare_ you accuse me of being in league with ---"

"He did not accuse _you_, Christopher. He accused Frodo. Frodo _Baggins_."

Frodo glared at Carl, who was now cowering in his seat.

"Yeah, that's right...not you...F-Frodo..."

"I demand an apology either way," Frodo growled.

"I-I'm sorry..."

Frodo glared at him one last time. "That's better." He sat back down slowly, and the teacher went on.

"Oookay...now that we're done with that..."

.o.

After class, Frodo found that everyone kept their distance from him. So he was surprised when at lunch, he felt a light tap on his shoulder.

He turned to see one of the girls in his class. He recognized her as a redhead that sat near the front, one of the few who actually paid attention during class.

"Hi," she said meekly. "I was just, well, I thought it was cool what you did today." Frodo flushed, remembering. "Carl's never really been into that class...I think you gave him a run for his money." She paused and added, "Plus, I've always been a fan of Frodo too. He's pretty cute in the movies."

Frodo blushed, hoping he didn't turn red and coughed.

"Well, I uh ---"

"You actually sort of look like him, by the way." Frodo blushed again. "That's a comment, you know, by my standards anyway."

She paused for a moment before saying, "I was just wondering, well, you know the thing Nick and Pete are doing, right?" Frodo nodded. "Umm, well, everyone's going to the party...won't you come...if I come with a friend for...your friend? I'd be so pleased to see you out of the classroom..." She smiled, and Frodo blushed again, his face the perfect shade of a ripe tomato.

"I was hoping to learn a few things like...do you...do you like dishing the dirt on the whole class and playing the fool and wearing all of the latest fashions or bucking the new trends and wearing your old threads...if you like taking a cup of coffee in the evening...These are a few things that I'd like to know..."

Frodo realized after she had stopped talking, that she was waiting for his reply. He was about to accept when he felt his mouth go off on things he never thought he would ever say (A/N below).

"I've been scheduled to work, but I'll call in, and my friend isn't busy. He'd be happy to join me. And maybe my friend and your friend will hit it off...or maybe, we will?"

Frodo blushed again, but couldn't keep himself from talking.

"I'm dying to know do you...do you like dreaming of things so impossible, or only the practical, or ever the wild? Or waiting through all your bad bad days just to end them with someone you care about...and do you like making out and long drives and brown eyes and guys that just...don't quite...fit in?" He finally caught himself, cursing the day he had learned to speak, and said, "So yes, I'll see you there."

.o.

Starred Author Note (except they took away the stars!): That's because he didn't know he'd been struck by the crazy Dashboard virus! Wah!

A/N: Sorry...this chapter was sort of...weird...hehehe...I'm sorry it took so long...school's come back to haunt me...


	9. First Times

Listening to: "A Warning Sign" by Coldplay

Chapter 9: First Times

This was it. Definitely _the_ day. Legolas brushed his fingers through his hair one last time, but not one hair was out of place. As he checked himself in the mirror, he smiled. As usual, he looked perfect (which would only have been right, seeing as he spent the majority of his life in front of the mirror).

He suffered through some classes before he finally found himself standing in front of the doorway to his government class. Rubbing his hands in anticipation, he checked himself once more. Clothes unwrinkled: check. Hair all in its place: check. Books stylishly held by left arm: (quick change from right to left arm) check. Voice in perfect tone: che---

"Umm, excuse me. You're blocking the doorway."

Legolas scowled. It was impossible for any _human_ mind to even imagine the importance of giving him complete and utter silence so that he could concentrate while checking off his appearance measures.

"And I care bec---"

He never finished his sentence. But for the first time in his life, he spoke the infamous line:

"Oh, uhhh..."

The red-headed girl sighed and pushed past him, brushing by his shoulder.

As she went to her seat, Legolas merely gazed at her, stroking his shoulder. And for the first time in his life, he actually wrinkled his clothes...

.o.

Meanwhile, Merry and Pippin were, as usual, definitely up to something.

"So, if we could calculate the exact _distance_ ---"

"Displacement," Pippin interrupted.

Merry stopped. "What?"

"Displacement." Merry's mouth dropped open. Since when did he have a vocabulary?

"Displacement," Pippin repeated. "Very different."

"Allright," Merry said slowly. "Displacement."

Pippin nodded. "After we are able to calculate the displacement of the object, of course in combination with the varying accelerations and velocities, all that is left is getting our victim in the right spot."

Pippin beamed and sighed dreamily. "Ahh, doesn't one love a good real-life application to the sciences." He finally noticed Merry's mouth. "What? I learned a lot in Physics." He paused, looked around, and then leaned forward towards Merry and whispered, "Didn't you?"

.o.

A crowd had formed in the wrestling room. And Sam was in the middle of it, lying on a bench.

"That's...320 pounds," the wrestling team captain announced.

The crowd "oohed" and "ahhed".

Sam grunted.

"More weight!"

As two of the wrestlers struggled with a weight to slide onto the metal bar, Sam suddenly remembered something.

"Oh yeah," he gasped for breath, "I forgot --- have," he gasped," any of you heard yet of," he paused, "the party tonight?" He nodded quickly to one of the wrestlers that stood beside him, and he grunted as he lifted the weight.

"Because ---" he grunted, "I need someone to," he stopped as he lowered the weight to his chest, "come with me!"

The crowds cheered as he lifted up the bar, and they swarmed around him.

Someone asked, "Mark, tell us what it is that makes you so amazing as a newcomer to our school's wrestling team."

Sam shifted nervously while he answered, "Well, I _do_ garden..."

.o.

Frodo was simply floating on air. For the first time in his life, he thought he might actually have things going for him. What was up with the whole Ring thing anyway? That was definitely something that could have ruined his life.

He grinned. Not now. Walking down the hallway, he didn't even notice how the crowds almost seemed to part for him --- news had spread quickly of "Christopher Cory's ability to shoot you down with one single glance".

When he reached her classroom, where he had decided he would wait for her after class, he peered in through the doorway.

To his surprise and utter delight, Mabel, for that was her name, noticed him and rose, as if to simply walk out of class. Frodo's eyes widened, but she grinned and began sharpening her pencil. The door was barely open, and she had begun to say something when they both realized she was not the only one by the door.

Mabel immediately turned her head back to the sharpener, and Legolas waited impatiently behind her. When she was finally done, he flashed her a brilliant smile and handed her a note.

She took it with her eyebrows raised, but did not smile. Legolas beamed.

After class, Mabel was just about to reach Frodo, when Legolas caught her hand. Frodo could just barely make out their words:

"Did you read it?"

Mabel stared at him for a second. "Yes." He opened his mouth to respond, but she cut him off. "And no."

She began walking away, and for the first time in his life, Legolas was rejected, turned down, and his voice bounced from low to high as he said:

"But wh-Y?"

He slapped his hand over his mouth as Mabel responded, "Because I'm already going with someone." She turned back to look at him. "Maybe he'll invite you."

.o.

A/N: I'm sorry it's taken me a while...again. But yeah, school _has_ started for us. It stinks. Two projects due Tuesday, and I have just decided I either don't like Pre-Cal, or my Pre-Cal teacher. Either way, I don't like it.

And yay! Someone finally likes Dashboard!!!!!


	10. Party On

Listening to: "On Fire" by Switchfoot

Chapter 10: Party On (by the way, I've decided to be nice to Legolas...well, sort of hehe...oh, and it might help to remember that Pippin told Gandalf his name was Luke...which is Legolas'...hehe...)

Legolas walked outside the lunchroom in the empty hallway with his hands in his pockets and sighs on his lips. Music was blaring inside; the worst part being that it was Greenday, due to Merry and Pippin's frequent insistences.

The former elf sighed. That day had not been good. The first day of being rejected. The first time Legolas had not received what he had wanted. What could possibly come next?

His thoughts were interrupted by the opening of a door, and then its close.

Legolas was barely able to make out a figure that had just emerged.

"Hey."

It was a female. Legolas bared his teeth, ready to pounce.

She sighed and leaned back against the wall.

"I don't know about you, but as much as Nick and Peter are fun, I de_test_ Greenday."

Legolas' wall of steel fell abruptly.

"Yes! I agree!" He rolled his eyes. "Punk is _so_ not me. I prefer...the calming music...of the woods. And nature." He sighed, remembering the woods. "Of wind... and distant rivers...the call of the lark."

Although he couldn't see her, he could tell she was smiling by the tone of her voice.

"Oh? I suppose you're of the more refined people, then." She paused with a chuckle. "And can I say, a poet in the making?"

Legolas looked at her in question. "Are not the people here...poetic?"

By now, he could tell she was grinning, trying not to laugh. "Not quite, Mr. Debonair. I'm wondering what you think of the people in this school now."

Legolas scowled, remembering Mabel. "I think I've gotten enough I want of them."

She laughed. "So that might explain why you're out here alone?"

"Alone?" Legolas shrugged. "Well, I'm with you..."

He blushed. For the first time in his life.

.o.

Merry and Pippin stood huddled in a corner, temporarily undisturbed by the large crowd of students that were in the lunch room.

Pippin checked his watch.

"It's 7 o'clock. Should we...?"

Merry's face was slowly corrupted by an evil grin.

"Let's do it."

.o.

"Sam! Wait for me!" Frodo struggled to push through the crowd, barely glimpsing his friend who was getting farther and farther ahead of him.

He sighed and gave up when he found himself standing by the wall and Sam nowhere in sight. _Oh well_, he thought. _Those wrestler friends of him are sort of scary anyway. In _

_fact, anyone who can kill me by sitting on me is pretty scary._

He would have been left standing as a wallflower if someone had not found him.

"Hey! Chris!"

It took Frodo a moment to realize someone was calling him.

"Chris ---" Mabel was at his side before he could turn his head. "Whew --- it's so hard to get through there." She caught her breath and smiled at him. "I've been looking for you since I got here. Sorry I was late."

Frodo blushed. "No, it's fine. I've been getting lost in here too..."

Mabel grinned and grabbed his hand. "Come on! You know this song, right?"

Frodo blushed even brighter and shook his head quickly. "Nope. Not at all."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on. You can't stand there the whole night."

Frodo shrugged and stuck his hands in his pockets. "I don't see why I can't. It's not hard."

She laughed. "Fine then. Be that way. I'll just find someone _else_ to dance with me..."

Frodo jumped. "Oh, wait, no, no, I'm coming ---"

He ran to catch up with her, and she grinned. 

.o.

"These kids are crazy, aren't they?"

Aragorn swallowed nervously.

"Oh yeah...sure are..."

He stood beside Danae, the teacher next door. Her hair was pinned up in a loose bun, though some of the curls bounced out and onto her face.

Aragorn rubbed his hands behind his back, quite aware of the awkward silence. He jumped when he heard her laugh abruptly.

"Oh, come on, you can't be _this_ nervous, can you?" She grinned, and he looked at her in question. "I've never met anyone who refused to have _some_ fun at a party. Just because we're teachers doesn't mean we can't do anything besides teach." She paused with a smile. "Do you have any...hobbies? Anything you like to do?"

Aragorn shrugged. "Well, I'm not bad with a sword. Archery would be my second choice."

She laughed. "I was looking more for dancing and a would-you-like-to, but oh well. Whatever fits."

She grinned at him, and Aragorn was left speechless.

.o.

Pippin carefully situated a cup beside Gandalf's hand when he wasn't looking. The former wizard stood beside a table of food, surveying the scene before him.

He then stepped back beside Merry, and said in a loud voice:

"Hey, Nick, isn't it cool that I got these drinks in without anyone seeing?"

Merry nodded, and responded, "Yeah, _Luke_, I mean, I was surprised none of the teachers noticed. It's not like it's supposed to be in schools ---"

Pippin grinned and pointed at the drink beside Gandalf's hand. "There's one if you want one."

Gandalf's eyes narrowed, hearing the conversation behind him. Sneaking a peek down at the can beside him, he caught the word 'beer' on its edge.

Stiffly, he turned around.

"Luke, I have to talk to you."

Pippin's eyes enlarged, and Merry was unnoticed as he slipped away.

"Why? What did I do?"

Gandalf's voice lowered. "I think you know the school rules by now, and if you think I will let you ---"

Pippin stuck out his tongue and sprinted outside the closest door, laughing, and making a furtive motion with his hands towards a shadowy corner in the room.

.o.

"What's your name, by the way?" The girl stood up, no longer leaning against the back wall, as if she were coming closer to Legolas.

He swallowed.

"Oh, uh ---"

He was interrupted by the door opening with a loud bang against the wall as a figure dashed out, laughing.

A loud booming voice followed.

"I am _not_ going to come after you, Luke Greene. Come back here _right_ this instant!"

Legolas swallowed again and glanced at the girl, who laughed and shrugged.

Bracing himself for what might come once he had realized it was Gandalf's voice that had called him, Legolas stepped inside the room, grateful to hear that the music had changed.

.o.

"Now!" came Pippin's shout as he had snuck back through the door, seeing Legolas enter.

Merry saluted and launched the object into the air, knowing that with the perfect beginning velocity, angle, and force, it would land right on top of Legolas' perfectly groomed hair.

.o.

Aragorn had just come out from the crowd, exhilarated from the fast-paced dance he had just had with Danae, once she had finally convinced him.

She stood by the door, waving over at him, when Aragorn saw her bump into a figure that was just entering.

Then he noticed the object flying through the air, heading for her.

In slow motion, he leapt across the floor, his hands stretched out in front of him.

"NO-O-O-O---"

His leap came up short. And as he hit the floor, he saw Pippin laughing and clapping in the doorway.

.o.

Ten minutes later, Gandalf had Merry, Pippin, Legolas, Aragorn, and Danae all in one room. There was silence.

Gandalf glared at the two former hobbits, but could not help but crack a smile when he saw Legolas covered in globs of apple pie; Danae had luckily turned to see Aragorn crash to the floor, just as the pie skimmed by her and landed on Legolas' face.

Gandalf turned back to the two hobbits, and his smile changed abruptly to a glower.

"I hope you know, you will _both_ be severely punished for this."

Merry and Pippin both gaped simultaneously.

"What are you talking about? We're innocent!"

"Innocent?" Gandalf growled.

Pippin grinned, nodding. "Yep."

"What about the..._drinks_ you snuck in here?"

Merry smiled evilly. "You couldn't be talking about the _root_ beer, could you?"

Gandalf gaped at them.

"What ---?"

Pippin shook his head as if he were ashamed of Gandalf. "I can't believe you thought _we_ would do something like that. Just go on assuming away, don't you?"

Gandalf glared at him and rolled up his sleeves.

"Any last words?"

Merry and Pippin both looked at each other and then declared simultaneously:

"Party on!"

.o.

A/N: Sorry this one's sort of long. Hope you enjoy :P

Shout-Outs:

Maria --- Hehe, I was afraid a lot of people would have no idea what tig was, but yay! It was great, wasn't it?

Kagomehigurashi12 --- YES! I did watch it! Hehehe...thanks for reviewing!

Margarita --- Thank you much! I'm glad you like it :P Hehe...yeah, I just realized I was writing about school during the summer...eek. Now school stinks...I'm actually _wanting _to update more though...now that I can't. Meh. Thanks for reviewing!

Bernadette --- You haven't happened to review before, have you? Meh. I don't remember half of these names anyway. But yeah, I happen to believe that the only good element of this fic is Frodo (merely b/c he is Frodo) and Dashboard. So yep. It _is _quite unoriginal, isn't it? Convince my reviewers to let me delete it :P Thanks for reviewing!

Silver rider of the Moon --- Thanks! I know...I'm working on updating quicker :P Hehe...and I've got plans for them about school...::evil grin::

Silvren ithildin --- I am...a semi-aragorn fan. I mean, he's definitely cool and everything. But ::sigh:: Frodo is my favorite... Can you tell? Speaking of aragorn though...I've got to put him in the story...eek. I keep forgetting. Thanks for reminding me! Hehe...

Dunthonwen --- Ooh! New computer! (old now, but oh well :P) Fun! Wow...your school started a lot later than ours...we started on August 9th...pooey. So how _is_ school going? And aww...no Dashboard for you ::sniff:: Poor deprived child. You'd love them, just take my word for it!

Southerngirl4615 --- YAY! Someone who likes Dashboard! That's quite that in all the reviews I've gotten, no one has said that. Hmph. I'm glad you can relate to Frodo! I do that too...ramble...randomly...very fun. And YES for Legolas getting shot down! I've always wanted to do that! Hahaha...yeah. It sort of switched a bit from the beginning...where Pippin was our source of dopey-funniness...and now he's...smart...I just noticed that...

Lady Kaori --- Hahaha...I made Frodo stick up for himself...it was fun. Don't forget to update yours too, you know! We're waiting! Hasta luego!

Ms. L. P. Weasley --- I would _love_ to put my reviewers in stories. But doesn't allow that ::sniff:: I thought about doing a 'you' fic, but that's against the rules...someone told me of this person who just goes around and reports people. Sad, right?

Hobbitgirl11 --- HEY!!! It's you again!!!! ::claps:: And yes! You like Dashboard! Yay! We need more Dashboard lovers...

Kyubi --- Hehe...I'm glad at least _some_ of my supposed humor is working through. Thanks for reviewing!

Turwaithiel --- Thank you!!! You seem like a very...intellectual-based person. Coming from me, that probably doesn't mean much, but still. The kinds of reviews like yours make much more sense and are very...useful (eh? Wrong word...) in writing :P Thank you much! I'm extremely sorry if I upset you...in the future...I'm not quite fond of Mary-Sues, but I happen to think that those who are all crazily anti-Mary-Sue have problems themselves. Hehe. Refer to my Mary-Sue one chapter fic if you really want to know...

Mornflower --- Mmm...miamaids...I just graduated into Laurels (if you call it graduating :P). But activity-wise...hehe, I think Miamaids get all hysterical over boys. But that's just my opinion (of course, not including me hehe). Umm...maybe arts and crafts! That's always fun! Well, sometimes. We had just started this thing where each of the girls chose some talent of theirs, and they taught it to the class as a lesson. It was pretty cool. And yes! Very cool to meet other Mormons!!

KEA --- Thanks for reviewing!!!!

Manwathiel --- Thank you much! I'm glad my time isn't going to complete waste ::grin::

Irukapooka --- YES! Go randomness! Hehehe...and yes...poor Leggy got rejected. Bwahaha. I always liked Frodo better. Thanks for reading and reviewing! ::grin::


	11. Just A Little Shook Up

L2: "Yellow" by Coldplay (live! --- if you stand up, we'll buy you all ice cream!)

Chapter 11: Shook Up

Saruman slumped on his couch, his eyes getting ready to glaze over for his next episode of the CCC. He grabbed a bag of potato chips, ripped it open, and began to chew voraciously. He stopped in mid-bite when he noticed something out of place. He scrambled for the CCC Ball, knocking greasy fried-in-oil-and-fat potato slices every which way. But it was too late. It had already begun...

.o.

"No you!"

"No you!"

"No YOU!"

"No YOU!"

"ALL RIGHT, FINE! I'LL DO IT!"

Merry and Pippin immediately grew silent, as Legolas growled at them. Gandalf stood surveying the three who had been (unfortunately for them) tracked down by the wizard, and sentenced to one of the numerous trials of whether or not the doors to the outside world would still ricochet them back.

Legolas took a deep breath and braced himself for the violent shock when POOF! He disappeared out the door and rolled down the stairs out of view.

Gandalf pointed after them, voice strong and grey eyes bulging.

"After him!"

Merry and Pippin grinned, nodded, and bolted out the door.

Meanwhile, Legolas was rolling down the stairs. And kept rolling. And rolling. And rolling. And ---

"Was this an old pastime of where you came from, or is it just you?"

Legolas looked up and saw...4 heads staring at him? He shook himself. It took a while for him to realize who it was.

"Oh, uh, K-Katherine, I didn't know it was...you."

She rolled her eyes. "I told you. It's Kat." She bent over and offered him her hand. "Come on. Did you sign up for the Autumn Festival, or what?"

"Wha huH?"

Merry and Pippin arrived perfectly on time, breathless, and yet, always full of noise.

"Woo! That was some good warmup, eh Lukey?"

Legolas glared at them, and Merry winked.

"Yep. Now we're ready for the Autumn Festival, aren't we Pete?"

Pippin grinned. "Yeah." He looked over at Kat. "So uh, you're coming too, right?"

He winked at her, and she raised her eyebrow, about to reply, when Legolas leaped up, suddenly full of energy.

"Yeah, we'll be right along."

He glared at them, and the pair of former hobbits jogged off, careful not to let their laughing get the better of them.

Legolas turned to Kat and offered her his arm.

"Sorry about that. Ready then?"

She grinned. "Of course."

.o.

"What do you _mean_ you'll be gone all of next week?" Frodo moaned. "What am I gonna do?"

Mabel rolled her eyes. "You make it sound like you can't _do_ anything without me here." She saw him nod eagerly and scoffed. "Which is _not_ true."

Frodo pulled his lips down into a frown and widened his eyes. "P-p-pleeeease?"

Mabel shrieked and started walking down the hallway.

"Don't do that. You know I hate it when you do that."

"Why?" Frodo ran to catch up with her, his face still the exemplar of a 2-month-old puppy dog. "Because," he sniffed, "it makes you...saaaaad?"

Her shriek mixed with a laugh, and she shoved him lightly with her shoulder into the wall before darting down the corridor.

Frodo's frown broke into his now more common grin, and he ran after her, laughing.

.o.

"_The Great Gatsby_?"

Aragorn and Danae sat on the steps outside the school, just where the students had begun to get ready for the annual Autumn Festival.

Danae wrinkled up her nose. "Definitely not."

Aragorn laughed. "All right, how about..._For Whom the Bell Tolls_."

She tossed her head. "Mmm...I'm not too sure about that one."

"All right....well, you have _got_ to like this one: _Harry Potter_."

Danae threw her hands up in the air. "Well, don't be _that_ obvious! Everyone loves Harry!" She grinned. "My turn. I pick...quotes. How about...'Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with something much bigger and heavier.' Anonymous."

Aragorn rolled his eyes and said sarcastically, "Oh yes, definitely."

She grinned and nodded. "Yeah, thought you'd like that one." She paused and then successfully lowered her voice to a sultry vehement whisper. "'It is mine to give to whom I will. Like my heart.' "

Aragorn gaped at her. Those words sounded vaguely it be... He cringed. She was haunting him...

He quickly shook his head. "No. Absolutely not. Next."

.o.

Gandalf had searched the whole school, as well as the field of the Autumn Festival. And of the nine of them, three were missing...

.o.

A/N: Yes, I'm sorry. Sort of short. And belated. Buuut...I haven't been in the best of moods of late (though thanks to all reviewers! This must be the record for most in a chapter!), and one can't write funny-stuff when one is not so happy. I've always tilted towards the angsty side anyway...hehehe...anyway. Remind me to do shout-outs next chapter...which will be soon! I hope...oh, and 3 points to who can guess who are the three missing! It's quite easy if you think about it...(hint: the ones you've heard least about!) First person to get it right gets 10 extra puntos! Yay!


	12. Finding the Connection

L2: JIMMY EAT WORLD!!! ("If You Don't, Don't")

Special Disclaimer: Don't own 'Napoleon Dynamite'. Or his tots. Or Jimmy Eat World lyrics, for that matter. Or Keane. (a special time limited 20 points for whoever can find all those referencesin this chapterhehehe)

Chapter 12: Finding the Connection

"What do you mean?!"

Gandalf nodded gravely while the others stared at him in disbelief.

"I am afraid that it is true." He sighed. "They have been taken…"

He was, of course, referring to the unfortunate misfortune of Gimli, Boromir, and Sam, who had disappeared from the school's premises.

Merry and Pippin looked at each other for a second before bawling.

"Oh, Pippin, hold me!"

"Oh, I will!"

Legolas' eyes enlarged, and he scooted his chair farther away.

Gandalf cleared his throat:

"It seems we have no ---"

Frodo interrupted him as a realization suddenly dawned on him. He pointed at Merry, who was busily crying into Pippin's arms.

"He-he said ---"

Gandalf immediately set upon Merry and Pippin after taking a minute to pry them apart. "What did you do now?!"

"No, no, it's not that ---"

Gandalf turned to look at Frodo with a questioning glance. "Then what is it?"

"He said…Pippin."

Frodo clapped his hand over his mouth, and his eyes widened. He said it again.

"Pippin." He grinned. "Pippin! Pippin!" He began dancing around the classroom, and Legolas found himself backing into the farthest corner he could fine.

Merry and Pippin joined Frodo in his wild dance, and Aragorn finally spoke.

"It may be that the powers of the CCC Ball have begun to wear off. Perhaps…we too…will begin to disappear?"

Gandalf nodded and then stretched forth his hand. "Give me your tots."

"What?" Aragorn looked at him, his face suddenly pain stricken. He felt his hand fall protectively towards his pocket.

"Give me your tots." Gandalf's voice grew sufficiently firmer. "They are necessary."

Aragorn looked away painfully as he obediently but unwillingly reached into his pocket and pulled out its squished-potato contents. Gandalf eagerly swiped them and stuffed them into his mouth.

Aragorn's own mouth hung open in incredulity. "You said they were necessary!"

Gandalf shrugged, his mouth full of the taters. "Shey were. I cansh shink wheh I ah hungwy."

Aragorn slunk away to a corner of the room to sulk.

Gandalf cleared his throat after a minute. "Now then. I guess the only thing we can do is wait." He grinned. "Who will be the next to go, I wonder?"

.o.

"Hey, Kat."

Legolas sat down slowly beside her on the cold, empty bleachers where he always knew to find her. She didn't respond for a while, and Legolas shifted in his seat, suddenly nervous.

"Won't you get your stories straight?"

"W-what do you mean?"

"I've heard you're leaving. For good."

Legolas shrugged and looked away when she turned to face him.

"I've heard you wouldn't have told me."

He felt his ears go red. "Yeah well, hehe, no idea where you heard ---"

Her voice turned rather dry. "Oh, no reliable source. I mean, it _was_ only from _you_ when talking to your other 'friends'."

"Kat, I'm _sorry_!" Legolas shivered at the words he had never said before. "I just ---"

"If you don't, don't!" She exclaimed before stiffly standing and walking off the bleachers, leaving behind a very confused and regretful elf.

.o.

"Gimme that!"

Merry grabbed the meterstick from Pippin's hands and measured himself against it.

"What does it say?"

Pippin squinted at the numbers.

"Depends."

"Depends?!" Merry glared at him.

Pippin shrugged. "You want centimeters, meters, feet, inches? I can do the calculations easy, but which ---"

Merry screamed out words he most certainly did not learn in the Shire and left.

Pippin shrugged and followed him out, muttering, "Well, five feet is better than three…"

.o.

"You want _my_ advice?"

Frodo mocked a gasp and kept walking, Legolas trailing not far behind him.

"Don't be all snobby about this. I just ---"

"Snobby? Okay. Fine. Don't come to me asking your girl questions." Frodo made sure to raise his voice.

"Hey, could you be quieter?" Legolas flushed and said through his teeth, "I don't want _everyone_ to know…"

Frodo rolled his eyes. "Okay, what is it?"

"Well, I sort of…I like this girl…"

Frodo scoffed. "What? As opposed to a boy?" He stood on his tiptoes for a second, peering into the side of Legolas' head. "By the way, your ears are pointy."

Legolas groaned. "Can we stay on topic, _please_?"

Frodo shrugged. "Fine."

"All right. Now. I was just, uh, wondering…well, I've noticed you and Mabel ---"

Frodo suddenly grew stiff. "You're not still after her are you? Because I will have you know, she ---"

Legolas shook his head quickly. "No, no. It's someone else. But I was just asking you because, well, you and Mabel…"

"Are perfect for each other?" Frodo smiled, his ears turning slightly pink.

"Well, yeah. How did you do it?"

He grinned. "I found our connection…"

"Your link?" Legolas' eyes narrowed. "What would that be?"

"I can't tell you!" Frodo exclaimed, stepping back. "Are you trying to steal our ---"

"No, no," Legolas hurriedly interrupted. "Just, what do you mean?"

Frodo was not listening. "Though actually, it might not hurt. After all, it's not like you could possibly have the same one." He paused and whispered slowly with dramatic emphasis, "It's…somewhere only we know."

"What?"

Frodo sighed impatiently. "Somewhere. Only. We. Know. Got it? Good."

He left, and Legolas was left yet again, very confused.

Luckily for him, however, Pippin walked by, singing obnoxiously with his headphones on. And Legolas felt the relieving dawn of realization.

Shrieking with excitement, the elf ran down to the school library. Pippin, who had stopped singing, shrugged and went on:

" 'So iiiiff you have a minute why don't we go…talk about it somewhere only we know…' "

.o.

A/N: Yeah…sorry it took so long again. But yay! Shout-outs! (Practically everyone guessed right to the 3 who were missing…hehehe…easy, but THESE questions are harder (see above ) hehehe…oh, and the first person was…irukapooka! Congratulations!)

Irukapooka --- Yes, randomness does most _certainly_ rock. Hehehe…thanks for reviewing! And reading some of my other fics…those seem to have been written so long ago, I'm willing to bet they're horrible. Well, thanks again! Sorry I didn't update earlier…I'm ::cough:: a slacker…

Hobbitgirl11 --- Yes, you are back! It's fun to see old reviewers… Hope you feel better! (You probably are better…that review was from…lesse…eek! September…)

Turwaithiel --- Nah, I don't blame you. I've just come across many homicidal Mary-Sue killers…it's quite scary actually. And you will have to remind me to stick in some more Green Day before the end…I was in a Jimmy Eat World mood today…but actually, just before that, it was all Green Day! Remind me! But anyway…thanks for reviewing!

Dunthonwen --- Yes! Do check out Dashboard! Hehehe…yes, sleep is good…and are you from the north? I know just one other person who uses wicked as an adjective…you people are so weird :: shakes head :: hehe I kid, I kid. You are very cool. :: grin ::

Ms. L. P. Weasly --- Did you see?! I am SO loyal to reviewers! Hehe…and Legolas even likes her…just tell me you like Jimmy Eat World. :: grin ::

Leap --- I know! Who detests Green Day? Only snobby elves…

Bberry06 --- Thanks! It's people like you who actually _make_ me update…

Kagomehigurashi12 --- YAY! A fellow anti-Figwit fan! Yay!

Margarita --- Haha, I'm glad to help you out of your school misery then. It's awesome reviewers like you who keep me going!

Silvren ithildin --- The toilet thing has come back, has it not? I know…I would have forgotten…well, thanks for reviewing!

Lariencalaelen --- Thanks for reviewing! Yes, I know…I took a while. I'm lazy…

Shadowedwolf13 --- Thanks for reviewing! I most certainly am holding out for more :: evil cackle ::

AngryTolkienPurist --- Thaaaanks! It's nice to know I'm not _completely_ shaming him… :: cough ::

Manwathiel --- Yeaaah…it's been like ages to me too. I'm lazy…very bad. Hehe, lo siento! Christmas break is almost here…I'm holding out…

Ha! --- Hehehehe…I can be a retard, can't I? (You know, of all the insult-ish reviewers, I doubt any of them actually read my comments…oh well)

Valarauko --- Thanks for reviewing! Like I've said before…still working on the funny part, but glad that it's working!

Mistymixwolf --- Yay! :: claps :: You got it right!

LoNe Elf --- Thanks! I am…continuing this fic…but if not for reviewers, I so would just be all, well, I know the ending and am too lazy to write it…

Lady Kaori --- You had _better_ update soon! Gosh. Your reviewers must be fainting from lack of you, right now…hehe…

RainyNightz --- Hahahaha…don't worry, there are too many Legolas fans for me to dislike them all. Glad you can stand to watch him be tortured.

ChildofGod-4ever --- Hahaha…yeaah…I never liked :: cough :: Arwen…but I know it would only be right to leave her there…hehehe…or not…well, anyway! Frodo and Mabel _are_ good together…that's because I love Frodo hehehe…oh! And you shall find out about the CCC ball! :: grins ::

Orlando's Hot Chick --- Thanks for reviewing! :: huggles ::

Aragorn waits for Arwen --- I guess I always wondered about them coming here…but it was more of like, hehehe…me daydreaming…yeah. Once upon a time I got a crush on Frodo…except he was only in the movies…very sad. This helps, no?

DracoScrewer --- DUDE! Do NOT give me that image. Bad bad bad. Hehe. And tig is SO great! Yay! And I saw the fiancée thing, and it got me wondering…very odd reviewer that you are hehe…I kid I kid :: grins ::


	13. A Light at the End of the Tunnel

L2: GREEN DAY! WOO!

A/N: Sorry guys, it was rather confusing, the last chapter. I just reread it. And sorry again for the lateness…I shall attempt to cure both faults of mine…

Special Disclaimer: Don't own any Jimmy Eat World lyrics (if anyone can spot them!).

Chapter 13: A Light at the End of the Tunnel

"The particular language used in order to –" The teacher stopped, noticing a hand waving high in the air. "Uhh, yes, Mr. Carey, err Cory?"

"May I use the restroom?" Frodo gasped. The instance the teacher nodded, he darted out the classroom, already about to fall out of his seat.

He made his way quickly and easily to the bathroom before he reached his destination. He entered the bathroom, running to the particular stall he wanted, when BAM – Frodo fell flat on his back. The door was closed.

"Hey, wait up a minute, would you? _Goooshh_…" a muffled voice said from the other side.

Frodo struggled to reach his feet, almost having to retrain himself physically not to break down the door. The hobbit had discovered, that the overwhelming power of the Toilet of Power was strongest and most irresistible when someone was using it, or just had, which was rather inconvenient if it was the former.

After what seemed only like forever, a boy opened the door, only to find himself immediately tacked by Frodo, who had leapt on him. Scrambling for the toilet, Frodo breathed, "You – you can't have it…it's, m-mine…"

The boy backed away slowly, his eyes enlarged.

"Yeah, ookaay…I'm gonna just, uhh, go now…"

Frodo nodded, his eyes still focused on the golden toilet. He began stroking it, much to the horror of the boy, who was now looking at Frodo with his mouth hanging wide open.

"Mine, my own…my precioussss…"

.o.

"…and as you descend deeper and deeper beneath the surface, the pressure increases, due to the height of the water above you. Ahh yes, Mr. Peter Daniels?"

Pippin placed his hand beneath his chin in a most thoughtful manner, while all the other students turned to look at him.

"That's the reason for the uh, liquid oxygen suits, correct?"

"Uhh, yes, I do believe so. Divers wear suits containing liquid oxygen inside in order to dive to incredibly deep depths, so that -"

"The lungs do not get punctured by breathing in regular oxygen, I know. Liquids do not compress the same way as gases. So I was curious…" Pippin paused for a second, looking intensely profound. "What happens when, say, methane gas is released within the suit? Does it float to the top, and remain above the head? It's less dense, of course."

"Uhh," the teacher said slowly, "I…don't know…"

.o.

Gandalf found his strength slowly drained from him as he stood in front of his class. They all eyed him strangely, curious as to why he was suddenly not yelling at them anymore.

"Class," Gandalf said slowly, his voice incredibly slow and drawn out, "I…"

He collapsed, and almost as if on cue, everyone jumped up to crowd around him.

"How many fingers do you see, sir? How many fingers?"

Gandalf's eyes were unable to focus, and began to close when he said slowly, "I see…a white light…at the end of a…tunnel…"

A few girls began to cry, hiding their faces in their hands. They stopped when Gandalf suddenly opened his eyes.

"But that could not be right. It's supposed to be a grey rain-curtain that rolls back, and all turns to silver glass."

Then he disappeared.

.o.

Legolas had searched frantically for her all day, but she was nowhere to be found. And what would he do with himself if he were to disappear next, without her? His heart would break…and then it would the end.

He sat down on some stairs, rather isolated from the rest of the school, and let his head fall into his hands. How could this happen! He was Legolas, the invincible, the beautiful, the _perfect_ elf.

He had even discovered the Connection Frodo had subtly hinted of. He had found…

"Kat!"

Legolas jumped up, seeing a flash of what he thought was her hair around the corner. But when he reached her, it was just another mirage…

He let himself fall against the floor, mumbling to himself.

"If you only once would let me…only just one time…then be happy with the consequence, with whatever's going to happen tonight…"

He pushed himself slowly over to rest against the wall, for once not caring about the spectacle he was making of himself, sliding across the floor, narrowly missing tripping people, who swore stupidly at him.

He went on, unaware that someone had stopped to listen to him, not some feet away.

"Don't think we're not serious. When's it ever not? The love we make is give and it's take; I'm game to play along…all I can say I shouldn't say…can we take a ride? Get out of this place while we still have time…"

Legolas started choosing people walking by to sing to, causing them in turn, to glance at him, and then hurry by even faster.

"All the best dj's are saving their slowest song for last…" He gave a strangled laugh, remembering the dance, and continued. "When the dance is through, it's me and you. Come on, would it really be so bad?"

He was surprised to hear a rather familiar voice growing louder as Kat walked towards him, smiling.

"Things we think may be the same, but I won't fight for more. It's just not me to wear it on my sleeve…count on that for sure…"

At the sound of her voice, Legolas jumped up, a smile of his own spreading across his face. They both said together, "Can we take a ride? Get out of this place while we still have time…we still have time."

Legolas beamed and was about to ask whether it was right, the song he had picked, but he didn't need to.

.o.

"Gandalf has left us," Aragorn murmured, after the remaining members of the Fellowship had gathered for their daily meeting after school.

Merry and Pippin's eyes lit up, and they were both about to run out, when Legolas stepped in front of them, his eyes narrowed.

"Don't even."

The two hobbits cowered at his unexpected display of authority. Legolas smiled evilly.

"I suppose it's only time each of us…" Frodo stopped, realizing something. "B-but Mabel!" He began going into hysterics until Merry gave him a sharp smack on the back.

"Hold it together, man!"

Frodo straightened up immediately, attempting to keep his face straight.

"All right. We should…just, prepare us…for the…"

At that moment, Merry and Pippin both collapsed in fits of laughter, and disappeared.

Frodo, Legolas, and Aragorn looked at each other. And braced themselves for the worst.

.o.

A/N: Yeah yeah, sort of weird. An attempt in merely hurrying the story along to where it should be…maybe. Oh yeah. And I have a little bit of an excuse for being this late; I moved across the country (a 36 hour drive, mind you).

Oh yeah. And the scene with Pippin in physics may have seemed a bit out there and needless, but I just stuck it in there because it actually happened in my physics class. Talk about…some…_special_ people hehe…

Shout-Outs!

Orlando's Hot Chick - Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you like it…even if I didn't update soon, oh well…

Turwaithiel - You're not homicidal! Wow, that's disappointing. Heh. Sorry I didn't put in any Green Day…I'm afraid I shall have to later on…and isn't it sad – I only know some half of the songs on their latest cd. And the select few played on the radio…anyway! I can very much see Merry doing that too…hehe…

Dunthonwen - Ahh, it seems like forever since I've heard from you. Yeah, my fault. So you're from the north…I'm from the south…or was, anyway. Ahh, basketball! I assume you guys won, right? Heh. I stink at sports. Anyway, mucho gracias para tu…uhh, respuesta (no recuerdo si es corecto) del capitulo. Heh. Lo siento. Espanol es bueno (pero, no en mi escuela).

Kitcat - Haha, I can guess then, that you're an Aragorn fan? Very nice. And haha, thank you, like, so much for the review!

ChildofGod-4ever - Hehe, yeah, I purposely gave Legolas plenty of girl problems. It's fun. And I hope I haven't made the story more mysterious…the ending (soon in coming! Thank goodness) should explain a lot of it. Heh. I'm still deciding what to do with Aragorn. Most likely I'll leave it open-ended. And oh no, _plenty_ of people think Aragorn hot. Just look at some of these reviewers (hehe), and plus, I know many, many people. Don't worry. You're not alone. Hehe. I like Frodo, but apparently, that's really weird…oh, and sorry hehe…yeah…sort of took away Sam. Lo siento. Hehe. Thanks for reviewing by the by (a Huck phrase! Huck – my HERO OF ALL TIME!)

Irukapooka - Randomness is fabulous…(unlike my past fanfics, really) And AHH! I love Napoleon! Hahaha…yeah. I think that more sophisticated people are the ones who don't let it tickle their fancy…hehe. In which case, I like Napoleon. Oh yeah, and definitely no swearing or slash, etc. I don't like that stuff either. Good for us! Hehe. I was tempted to write something in this chapter actually, about my opinion on swearing…I elude to it vaguely…hehe…while Legolas is starting his song on the floor…

DracoScrewer - AHH! Go Lij! Haha…and your fiancé sounds absolutely fabulous. Though you must have forgotten what were talking about by now…I take so long, I know. Hahaha…yes, quite odd…hehe…

Mistymixwolf - Sorry I've been confusing…my last chapter really _was_…it's my fault; I've attempted to fix it. But who knows…it's no doubt, very confusing yet…

AnimeSiren - THANKS! I love weirdness. And it being weird and yet slightly appealing is very nice.

Kuria - Haha, thanks. I'm still not thinking half of the things I stick in here are funny…but I think weird things are funny so oh well…

Orliluver - Hahaha…if I'm not talking about something way off, (about Sam's size double) were you talking about ooh…can't remember his name…but he did say something like "I love red wine!" And that's all I remember…haha…yeah, it was pretty funny…the commentary and everything hehe…I ought to watch it sometime again. And sorry about confusing you! Thanks for telling me though…because I didn't realize just _how_ confusing it was. But SSHHH! Hahaha, you got it…and it's supposed to be figured out just out the end (or now, for those smart people). Hehe. Thanks for reviewing!

RainyNightz - You liked the Frodo and Legolas thing? Hehe…I tried to just make Legolas less all high and might and whatnot. Hehe. And plus, I like Frodo. Thanks for reviewing!

Hollie - Hahaha…I'm sorry. I guess I couldn't help but torture the poor elf. Assuming you haven't read on, well, Legolas goes through a bit more than a new hairdo…but thanks for reviewing. Haha, sorry again. I guess I'm guilty.

THANKS TO EVERYONE! And no, this is not the end. Say, one more chapter? I can't wait for it to end.


	14. Time Of Your Life

L2…YOU'LL SEE! Muahahaha…oh yeah. By the way, that was Jimmy Eat WORLD LAST CHAPTER! Haha, okay, nevermind…

A/N: The reason for the general title "The President" is because we're not supposed to use real people in these things…so technically, it's not really Bush…or any other president for that matter…it's just…some president…get the idea?

Chapter 14: Time of Your Life

Frodo walked around school with his head bowed low, both in worry and misery. He dreaded every moment in anticipation of when he would be whisked away, back to Middle Earth, with the weight of the Ring once more upon his shoulders, and worse yet…

He shivered, attempting to wipe the thoughts from his mind. He almost screamed when he felt someone tap his shoulder. Half expecting it to be Mabel, he turned with an ecstatic grin on his face. It was -

"Have you seen Kat? I can't find her," Legolas said, a frantic look on his face.

Frodo glared at him, severely disappointed by Mabel's beautiful face being replaced Legolas'…beautiful face.

The elf shrugged. For he was very much an elf, his hair growing farther out, and his ears becoming almost as pointy as those pencils annoying people keep sticking in electric pencil sharpeners, even though they won't get any sharper.

"I was just asking…"

Frodo felt a sudden urge to grab Legolas' pointy-like-really-sharp-pencils ears, but instead just stared at them. Legolas gave him a weird look and walked away, leaving Frodo even more dejected than before.

.o.

"Uhh…" Aragorn stuck his head into the classroom across the hall. "Danae?"

He jumped when she came up behind him.

"Yes?" She laughed, her eyes reflecting merriment. "You scare so easily, don't you?"

Aragorn laughed nervously, feeling rather awkward.

"Yes, I-I guess so…" He coughed and straightened up, remembering why he had come. "Well, I was just wanting to umm, tell you…"

"I'm sorry," she interrupted, "but I'm sort of in a hurry -"

Aragorn caught his breath and then let it go just as quickly.

"All right, I'll try to make this fast…" He paused. And then let it all go. "See the thing here is that I'm not really a substitute teacher at all, in fact, I'm really a Ranger from Middle Earth, I think you've heard of it before? And we're going back – some others and myself, due to some malfunctioning CCC Ball, and I just wanted to tell you that I -"

"Wait, what?"

She had drawn closer to him, attempting to relate the babble that had come out of his mouth to a more comprehensive language…English, perhaps.

Aragorn suddenly let out a wail, finding that she was only inches from him.

"I'm betrothed!"

There was silence for a while, until Danae finally said, "Oh," in a small voice. She then turned to walk away.

"That was what you wanted to tell me, I suppose," she said quietly, her tone halfway between being in question and being rhetoric.

Aragorn, for the first time in his life, felt as though all courage had left him. But he couldn't let this go.

"No," he touched her arm, stopping her. "No, that wasn't all."

She turned to face him, and he found himself bending down, closer to her face. But not of course, before the last remnants of the CCC Ball were able to whisk him away, and he disappeared, leaving behind a very confused and disappointed teacher in the hallway of Melrose High.

.o.

"No…no, don't take my quesadilla…oohh noo, don't give it to Tina…she's _already_ a fat lard…what? No, no…AHH!"

Legolas awoke with a start, having a rather peculiar dream containing llamas and Mexican foods.

"Mister Green, aren't you a bit late for class?"

Legolas looked up to find Kat standing over him; the classroom was empty.

"Kat!" He sat up quickly. "What are you doing here?"

She laughed. "You act as though I don't _usually_ see you every day." She checked her watch. "It's lunch time, you know. Class was over 10 minutes ago." She stopped, and Legolas noticed her eyes had fallen to his mouth. He knew what it was; he had seen it before. She was hungering for a kiss…

She interrupted his thoughts. "Umm…you're drooling."

Legolas turned a sharp tinge of red as he wiped his mouth.

.o.

Frodo had given up all hope of ever seeing Mabel before he too, would disappear. So instead of heading to his English class, he sat down on the floor of his bathroom and began to write.

Mabel 

_I wanted to tell you _(scratched out)_ – I needed to tell you, I won't be here. _(Frodo stopped. That didn't sound right. Hurriedly scratched out.) _There are many things I need to tell you. For one thing, I won't be here, at this school, for much longer. You may have noticed, but I'm not exactly like everyone else. That is because I am not of this world. I know, I know, it seems farfetched, and it really is. _(Frodo paused, wondering how much paper he would need if he were going to tell her _everything_.) _Umm, it's too much to explain right now, on paper. But there is one more thing I need you to know. _

_My, my leaving… I don't want it to hurt you. Think of it as…as…another turning point – a fork stuck in the road. _(Frodo grimaced at what he wrote next, but forced his hand to write.) _Forget me, won't you? It's the one thing I ask of you…to make the best of this task and don't ask why; it's not a question, but a lesson learned in time. _(Frodo sighed, stopping, and just…thinking…) _I hope you have the time of your life._

He did not allow himself to write all he wanted…things like, I'll miss you, I'll never forget you, I never want to leave… He knew it would make things harder…and so he slipped the piece of paper into her locker before stepping back and remembering the first time he had met her. With these images in his head, he allowed himself to disappear…

.o.

Legolas and Kat had just been walking out into the empty hallway when they noticed Frodo standing by himself beside a locker.

"Hey! Chistoph – I mean, Fro -"

Kat gasped as he disappeared. Turning to Legolas, she asked, "What happened?"

Legolas swallowed, taking Kat's hands in his.

"I'm leaving…I'm the last one…"

"What? No!" She exclaimed.

He nodded. "Kat, I – you must know, I ," He winced. It would be any minute now…

Before he could say anything though, he saw…a red lobster sitting on Kat's shoulder?

He thought he couldn't have been more surprised, but it started singing.

"Now's your moment, floating in a blue lagoon -"

Legolas interrupted him. "What're you talking about? I'm not in a -"

The lobster glared at him, and Legolas stopped talking. Kat looked at him like he was going crazy.

"Boy, you better do it soon, no time will be better. And you don't know why, but you're dying to try, you wanna kiss the girl. Yes, you want her, look at her, you know you do. Possible she wants you to…there is one way to ask her…it don't take a word, not a single word. Go on and kiss the girl!"

Legolas was definitely hallucinating. Some fish appeared around him, and he felt this lazy, floating sensation, as though he were on a boat…

He sighed. There was nothing for it. He leaned forward and kissed her, and before he knew it, the fish and lobster disappeared. The sensation was the same though…because he certainly felt like he was floating– but just as quickly, he felt himself being pulled away, and then he heard her gasp…

.o.

The President was in one of his rather…odd moods, to put it nicely. So he decided he would have some fun to spend the time. Whipping out the official "Good Rulers Turned BAD Confusion Creator" crystal ball, he cackled happily and flicked on the power switch.

His view instantly turned to that of a number of young people – no wait, there was one adult; she looked like she might be a teacher, and there were 2 other girls who looked like students…high school age. The static suddenly increased, and the President whacked the ball, and the picture changed to a group of wrestlers who were – setting up a 'Missing Wrestler: Reward 100' sign. And what was this now? The picture faded, and the President's fingers tingled with excitement…

Who was it who had done it before? The Prime Minister of England? He had sent off some crazy writer to another world…the rulers of the world had all gotten a kick out of it until they realized that the batteries had run out of their CCC ball, and the writer had come back and written stories of – what did he call it? Middle Earth?

The President grinned evilly before he pressed the last button that would send the kids and teacher to the same place…

But a body guard leaned over to him, just before he did so and whispered, "Don't forget to replace the batteries…"

.o.

Wahoo! Hope you guys enjoyed it! It's open ended, sort of like it's heading for a sequel…which, if any wants, is up for grabs! Hahaha, well, I love you all! Thanks for all the reviews, both good and bad!

SHOUT OUTS:

Silvren ithildin – Haha, I suppose I could go further on to what _really_ is going to happen to them, but ahh well, this is the end, and rather open-ended at that. I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thank so much for reviewing!

Bubble Sheep/Aragorn Waits For Arwen – (I have to say I like Bubble Sheep better haha…) YES! Someone finally got Keane! I was obsessed with them when I wrote that chapter…they are WONDERFUL, aren't they?

Larien Calaelen - Lucky? You mean you don't like them in high school! Haha, nah, I agree with you. And thanks for your review!

Kyung-sook - Yep…ending soon. I'm glad you like it! I've been _trying_ to make it funny…dunno if my weird sense of humor works though…haha…

Manwathiel - Haha, I didn't remember the Merry and Pippin part of ch. 12, but yeah…I remember it now…haha, _anyway_, thanks for reviewing!

SparxliePixie - YES! Napoleon rocks…

Azabuey - Did Abby con you into doing this? Hahaha, so how're things at school? Normal of course, without me. What're you taking next year? TELL ME!

Wynngurl - ABBY! I am posting see…just…a bit late…that's all hehe…yeah…I e-mailed you back too! And wrote you…even though it got returned…evil postal service…(that's a band too you know hehe, I'm a genius). Si, estoy antipatica, pero estoy hablando contigo ahora! I miss you guys!

Sotui - haha, I _do_ need more Green Day. Does this last chapter agree with you? Haha, well, thanks for all your feedback! It's nice to have met a fellow Green Day fan (even if my lack of knowledge of all their songs commits me to being less of a fan than you are)! Thanks for reviewing!

Dunthonwen - Haha…I am glad you like it! My humor is waning…and I'm afraid I've lost a lot of the funniness along the way, but oh well. I think I'm better at serious things anyway…unless of course, I'm rabidly hyper…yes yes…I'm glad now that it's ending. I'm working on some other things…and school :shudder: Haha, debes entender como comprender espanol! Oh, and I haven't seen Phantom yet…I WANT TO! (The music is lovely, isn't it?)

Leelo - I suppose I don't have the rights of Napoleon Dynamite. (Or LotR for that matter) I do live in Idaho though! And llamas live a block away…they're so cute…

Rohwen Edhel - Haha, I like your little Merry and Pippin thing…haha, it's better than anything I've been doing…haha, well, thanks for reviewing! And say hi to Pip for me, won't you? You seem to be closer to him than me. Hahaha…

Mistymixwolf - COOKIE! YAY:grabs cookie and stuffs into mouth: … :swallows: … Thanks for reviewing! (And for the cookie!)

Orlando's Hot Chick - Haha…I didn't exactly hurry…but I'm trying! Well, not anymore, but I did try. Haha…thanks for being a reviewer! And I'm sorry I do take a while…

DracoScrewer - He's 24 now! AHH! Too old for me…how sad…haha…OH! And happy belated birthday! Sweet 16! Was it fun? And don't worry – you'll be a good actress. But everyone goes through the disappointments of not _always_ succeeding. I'm sure if you work at it you'll be wonderful…and just watch, you'll light up the screen in 5 years…and we'll all be awing at your presence :grins: Wow…happy belated 2 month anniversary too! Haha…

ChildofGod-4ever - Aww, surely you have better fics you're reading than this! Ooh…that connection thing was horrible, and I have no idea what I was thinking. OH wait, I know, I wasn't thinking at all…muaha…I'm really weird if you haven't noticed…oddities…YES! I LOVE HUCK! Hahaha…okay…well…goodbye now. Thanks for reviewing! And I'm still sorry about not getting to put you on the Sun Star thing…

Silver Wrath - I've made you happy? Eek…I don't remember what it was I did…you don't happen to be Kat? Haha…b/c if you are, then YES! I totally stuck that in for you…hahaha…

Estella :squeals: Sorry for taking so long! Hahaha…actually…it hasn't been _that_ long…good for me! Muah.

Kagomehigurashi12 - No? NO! I have _no_ idea what I'm talking about…anyway…sorry if the fic has been getting too weird or something…I don't deny you privilege in the least of criticizing it…hehe…I suppose I could've have tried to make it better…but if I did that, then ha, I'd never have written it! Goodbyyye then. Thanks for reviewing!


End file.
